America's Next Top Model

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And Then There Were Two

Brittani says that her mom has severe panic anxiety disorder and can't work. For the first few years of Brittani's life, her mom was agoraphobic. This means that she didn't even want to leave the trailer. Growing up, other kids would make fun of Brittani because her mom had problems and didn't have a job, which obviously made Brittani feel like shit. She starts crying, and Tyra moves couches to comfort her a little. Brittani says that, especially being away from her mom now, she's realized how much she loves her mom and appreciates everything she's done for her. Brittani's mom is the one who get her into this, she says, though we don't hear exactly how. Tyra says that all of the girls' Emotion Day stories are relatable. Perfection is boring, and a life that's just lah-de-dah makes for a woman who is vapid and doesn't appreciate things. This is why it's been so helpful that Tyra had to live through the painful struggle of going to Paris at age 16 to model. Despite their lovely faces, Tyra says, Molly, Hannah and Brittani are just like other girls. I don't know about you, but my mom didn't have agoraphobia. Molly now feels like Tyra cares about the models as people, which makes her feel good. This is just more abandonment issues waiting to happen, isn't it?

Tyra takes the girls outside, because she's going to photograph them. You know how she likes to do. It's going to be super-duper fast, and she does their makeup, which means that she draws black shit all over them. Then, Tyra puts, like, motor oil in their hair and outfits them in bland cloaks. Molly's picture looks awesome, of course, and then Tyra tells Hannah to make tiny micromovements. Molly says that Hannah and Brittani are both awesome, but she wants Brittani to go home because she's actual competition on the runway. Hannah tearfully says that she hasn't shown a strong picture in the past few weeks, and the others have forgotten her as competition. However, she knows that she can kick their asses. That never sounds convincing when said with a shaky, sobbing voice. Brittani says that the prize package for the competition is fab, and she can't even believe it's a possibility for her. You know, trailer, etc. At the same time, she just has to reach out and grab it.

Before she leaves, Tyra tells the girls that there's one thing about modeling that she wants them to take away, and it's isolation. And no, she's not talking about the desperate loneliness that comes with having a perfectly symmetrical face. The best models in the world can isolate their necks or their ears or whatever, and move one thing at a time. Tyra then moves them through a series of exercises, in which they move their hips, then their necks, and then walk around like Stepford Wife chickens. They eventually wind up on the roof, where a few men are playing traditional Moroccan music. The girls have tasseled hats on their heads and all whip them around and dance with Tyra, and frankly it all gets a little weird and slo-mo. Thankfully, we eventually head to commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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