America's Next Top Model
Janice Dickinson: Supermodel Out of Control

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Die, Motherfucker
Mr. V.O. tells us that for three decades, Janice somehow managed to keep her face, figure, and outrageous personality in the spotlight, which is exactly where she intends to stay. Diane von Furstenburg says, "She's a force because she's a survivor. She's a beautiful girl inside. And she went through all kinds of things, but she's a survivor." Okay, maybe Diane von Furstenberg isn't such a bitch after all. Edward Tricomi says that Janice has nine lives, and is only on the seventh or so. Janice says that she writes, she's on television, and she's the loudest soccer mom there is in the PTA. And that's who she is. And she is the greatest. On the Walk of Fame, she yells that all she wants is a star on Hollywood Boulevard, a parking space, and a boyfriend. What about Jon Lovitz? The outro includes an anecdote of how Janice worked the camera at the DMV when getting her new license. Her son thought she looked like a porn star, but she thought she looked rad. Frankly, I'm surprised that they still let this woman operate a vehicle.

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America's Next Top Model

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