America's Next Top Model
Janice Dickinson: Supermodel Out of Control

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Die, Motherfucker
At this time, Janice also discovered boys, and she liked 'em wild. We see a picture of a still pretty innocent-looking Janice with two guys who look like they could be in the Bay City Rollers. Janice's sister says that Janice preferred guys who looked as if they had just walked off of a police sketch. Janice's mom tried to teach her grace and manners, to which Janice replied (while gesticulating wildly), "I don't need grace and manners! Come on!" She adds that her mother always tried to steer her in the right direction. And I might add that behind Janice in the interview stands a giant ceramic Dalmatian that looks like it might have been bought for $175 on an episode of Wheel of Fortune in 1986. At age sixteen and upon urging from her mother, Janice entered a national modeling competition and made it to the finals in New York City. She says she knew she could win it and work the runway in the manner of her predecessors. Have I mentioned that her hair looks awesome? Janice says that when she won the competition she put on an "Aw gee, shucks, golly" act, but deep inside she felt great. She told her father that she wanted to be a model, and he told her that she would never look that good, be that glamorous, or make it. Tough talk for a man who looks like Robert Blake's retarded younger brother. Janice notes that it was not so great for a young girl's self-esteem to hear those unkind words. After graduating high school, Janice moved to New York to pursue her career. She says that she would pound on photographers' doors and beg them to take her pictures. But the fashion world rejected her. She says that she had "sloppy ethnic lips" and "sloppy ethnic features" that were antithetical to those of Christie Brinkley and Cheryl Tiegs. She knew that she could model, but she had to convince others. One day she showed up at the prestigious Eileen Ford Modeling Agencies. Monique Pillard -- an enormous Gertrude Stein doppelganger/talent booker -- says that though Janice was not the type that they were looking for at the time, she knew Janice could make it big. However, Janice said that Eileen Ford took one look at her and said, "No. This isn't going to fly," and dismissed her. Janice couldn't believe it and thought to herself as she walked out, "I'll make you eat your words, bitch." Judging from the looks of her, I think that Monique Pillard ate the words before Eileen Ford could get to them.

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America's Next Top Model




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