America's Next Top Model
Jessica Sutta and Nadine Coyle

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Spice Up Your Tooch

We then mercifully move on to the Fiercely British's single, "We'll Mash You Up." Their British tooch is major. Your hoochie tooch? No flavor. Oh, I see -- the booty tooch teach was critical in actually being able to properly understand the really deep lyrics to this song! Maybe it's actually a pop tribute to the work of Camus. The Brits are way cuter in their video, but I think they're way cuter always. Also, their song contains the word "scallywags," which gives them an automatic win, yeah yeah. Neither of these songs holds a candle to "Money Can't Buy You Class," though. Alisha is extra great for the Brits, and really uses her legs to full advantage. But everyone is good! They tooch high, they tooch low, our Yankee tooch is too slow. The panel goes nuts, and Tyra says that she felt like she was watching a real music video. Now, let's not get carried away here.

Catherine gets her individual evaluation first, and Tyra names all the varieties of tooching that she is doing perfectly. Cutrone thinks it was cool, sexy, nasty and nice. Nadine says that Sophie is a blonde bombshell all over her headstone. I think? Sophie is Cutrone's favorite for the day, and she adds that Sophie is reminiscent of a Warhol superstar. Tyra knows that Sophie isn't a strong dancer, but she doesn't care because Sophie is working it and committing. Everyone is knocked out by how professional Alisha is, both as a dancer and a smizer. Jessica notes that Alisha was constantly at 100% on set, and Tyra loves how Alisha milked every moment. That's what a star does! Finally there's Annaliese. Jessica thinks she's adorable, and that her sweetness stood out. Cutrone really likes her too and think she was totally believable. Tyra basically calls her family-friendly, but in a really good way. It's true that you wouldn't mind your kid having a thing for her, and seeing her perform might even be bearable.

The judges deliberate. Kyle didn't commit, and couldn't get out of her head enough to enjoy the moment. However, she's beautiful. Cutrone doesn't think that being a pop star is Kyle's strength, but does think that she did a good job letting her personality shine through in the video. From what we've seen, Kyle's personality is pretty annoying, so I guess that's accurate. Seymone was a little disappointing to Cutrone, but Jessica really liked how she worked her curves. Laura was good, but needs to control her face, which occasionally looks like a nasty mechanic. Azmarie wasn't present enough for Nigel, but from the moment Nadine first met her she wanted to boff her. Basically, Azmarie has undeniable presence. Cutrone, however, is over her. She thinks that Azmarie is a boaster, a coaster, and that it's time to toast her. Nadine and Jessica can't even believe what they're hearing. Eboni was so-so, but doesn't really know what to do with her energy, and also smoochie tooches entirely too much.

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America's Next Top Model

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