Although they are a little traumatized by last week's dramatic elimination, the final three soldier on and face yet another set of go-sees, this time in Hong Kong. Oh, and see, Alisha would have nailed these. It is truly the saddest. Cutrone gets to administer the go-see challenge, and looks none too thrilled about any of it. Each model has four go-sees to attend, and will get $1,000 Hong Kong dollars for each one that they book. The exchange rate for that is, like, a buck fifty. Go buy yourself a nice pretzel with your winnings!
There is no clock-ticking-down weirdness and threat of disqualification, and the models have a huge advantage in the form of three male models/go-see escorts who take them from place to place. The whole time, Laura is very mental about her walk. This is because her walk is very bad. The go-sees break down as such: designer William Tang actually says that someone should show Laura how to walk, and really loves Annaliese. Crazy costumer Gregory Derham loves all the models, even though he also acknowledges that Laura has a bad walk. He makes Annaliese wear a skirt of sequined bananas, and she gets points for not punching him. Henry Lau is no fan of Annaliese but does like Sophie and Laura. And Marisa Zeman, who has a clothing line called Nude Is Rude, is another Annaliese enthusiast. In the final tally, Annaliese and Sophie each were the favorite of two designers. Laura booked two go-sees, Annaliese booked three, and Sophie booked all four. Cutrone doles out the Hong Kong dollars, and tells Sophie that, as the challenge winner, she'll be the face of Nude Is Rude for a whole year. She also gets clothes from all the go-see designers. I'm sure that Marie Antoinette dress from Gregory Derham will come in handy at some point.
After a night out on the town, the models head to their photo shoot, which involves wearing pink frilly dresses and posing inside a giant perfume bottle. Yes, this is an image for Dream Come True, the America's Next Top Model fragrance. As you may have heard, it smells like cupcakes. Photographer Jez Smith is on hand, as is Ben Bennett, the founder of Hatch Beauty and creator of Dream Come True. In addition to having a complex about her walk, Laura has a complex about being girly. This is really not her day. Sophie does a relatively good job on set, and really by default gets best photo of the week is thus is named a finalist. Both Annalise and Laura failed to capture the youthful energy (and play to the youthful demographic) of Dream Come True, and land in the final two. Even though Kelly finally admits to liking Annaliese a little, she is sent home, thus ensuring an American versus British showdown in the finale. Annaliese is a good sport about the whole thing, even though it is the opposite of fan-dabbey-dozy.
Previously: Eboni was eliminated by Tyra, and Alisha subsequently chose to eliminate herself. It was the saddest of times. Glumatronica! Now three bitches remain! Laura is the only American, facing off against Brits Sophie and Annaliese. And if anyone thinks Annaliese actually stands a chance of making it to the final two, you clearly haven't been watching this show at all.
We catch up with the final three at home, where they have landed after the double elimination trauma. Annaliese tells us that she knew if Eboni and Alisha landed in the bottom together, things were going to get dramatic. We flash back to sepia-toned Alisha bawling and declaring that she was walking away from the competition to get her spirit back, and Tyra being clearly unable to muster up two shits. If anyone gives less of a fuck about America's Next Top Model than the rest of the world, it is Miss Tyra Banks. Sophie says that in a weird way she's proud of Alisha, but at the same time all she had to do was hang on for two more episodes and she could have been America's Next Top Model. A self-proclaimed fighter who's been trying to model since she was eleven, Sophie tells us that walking away has never been an option for her. She also reminds us that she once had to work as a waitress. Oh, the struggle! The hardship! It's very inspiring. Annaliese tells us that she's a total underdog who nobody expects to win. Including me, as per the paragraph above. However, Alisha knows that she's a good model who makes up for her deficiencies in height and age through her personality. It is a true fact that a good personality adds three inches to your height and subtracts three years from your age.
Laura is, of course, the last remaining American, and is proud that she not only outlasted all of her countrywomen but the bulk of the Brits as well. She reminds us that she had to grow up fast, what with the unstable parents and the lack of friends and all that stuff. But her ability to make it as one of the final three is, she says, an example of the American Dream. I actually do think that the new American Dream is to appear completely oversexed on a failing reality show, so Laura should be a model (pun intended!) to us all.
There is Tyra Mail! "Get up and go for it in the pearl of the east. Fierce and love, Tyra." The girls quickly figure out that a go-see challenge is in their imminent future, and Laura just shakes her head. This is the third go-see challenge of the season, and Laura is sick of it. Annaliese explains that Laura has a complex about her walk. This is because her walk sucks. Annaliese doesn't say that, but it's evident by WATCHING LAURA'S WALK. Where is Miss J. to hurl insults at her? As Annaliese tells us that Laura needs to get over said walking complex or risk going home, we head to the opening credits! Aren't you sad you're only going to have to see this seizure-inducing mess two more times?