America's Next Top Model

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Who Was That Masked Man?
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Previously on America's Next Top Model: Lexie told Kacey that nobody likes her, and then Kacey asked if anybody likes her, and as it turned out nobody likes her. Just like Lexie said in the first place! Some of the girls worked it in a photo shoot with famed photographer Matthew Rolston, while others got bogged down by slimy sea creatures and irritated contact lenses. And unlike another Rhianna, the show's Rhianna ended up being one note. And that note wasn't a pretty one, and often wore hideous hats. She was sent home. Ten bitches remain!

The girls return home to find Ann's latest picture displayed as digital art. It has praise written in horrible fonts along the lines of, "It sings!" "You're so alive!" "Star quality!" I don't know that "you're so alive" is actually a huge compliment. "You avoided looking like a floating corpse!" "You breathe automatically!" "Zombie no more!" Ann has had three top photos in a row, which is not very common. In a half-alive fashion, she pumps her fists and says that people will remember her and be so proud of her. Until the backlash begins, that is. Nobody is immune to this kind of backlash-worthy situation, except for Betty White. Kacey tells us that Ann is cool, but she needs to release her bony claw-like grasp on first place. Kacey tells us that some girls in the house might label her a bitch. What she means is, "All girls in the house do label me a bitch," as we see in sepia-toned flashback. She tells us that it's hard to stand up by yourself to a group of bitches who clearly don't like you. Well put! And true. This is part of Kacey's "It Gets Better" message.

Kacey takes matters into her own hands and calls a meeting to order. She acknowledges that they've had some rough times, and says that she wants the other girls to get to know her better. To wit, she invites them to write down questions on a piece of paper and says she will answer them. This is the weirdest, most artificial relationship-building method that I have ever seen. But, just like Chris, I'm willing to give her a chance and involve her in the reindeer games. Oh, wait, the questions are for everyone. This seems even weirder, especially without the "dare" aspect of the game. We first see Kendal answer that no, she has never been in trouble with the law. Then Liz gets a question about what her life was like growing up. Liz says that she wanted to die. When you're pregnant, alone, and in a homeless shelter three days before you're due to give birth, she says, wanting to die is a common reaction. She asked herself how she could manage to raise a baby when she couldn't even buy food for herself. Winning this competition could significantly change Liz's life and her daughter's life, and she says that being in the bottom two really sucked. We are reminded that Liz is a big complainer, though as she complains about her hair in a confessional about the terrible thought of going home, we are left to wonder if she actually learned the important lesson of shutting your maw. Methinks not.

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America's Next Top Model

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