When we return, there is yet more Tyra Mail: "The reality is, sometimes you just go along for the ride! Fierce and Love, Tyra." Someone predicts that they'll be on a scary ride, and Lisa gives a giant scream of excitement. Crazy! The girls meet up with Jay Manuel, who tells them that they're in store for a night shoot. Involving motorcycles! This on its own would be enough, right? But alas, there's more. Jay lies that Tyra came up with a great idea to help the girls step outside their comfort zones and give energy on set. He then says, "You know there's this whole new breed of young reality stars that are known for their over the top personalities." Is this a joke? On Cycle Fucking Seventeen of America's Next Top Model? The girls will be portraying either Jersey Shore's Snooki or "young reality star" NeNe Leakes of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I actually blew a blood vessel in my brain when this was announced. At least it gives Bianca an excuse to actually choke someone. Alexandria is the unlikely voice of reason in this scenario, telling us, "I was just told that I looked like a reality TV star. So how the hell am I supposed to get my high fashion back by portraying a reality TV star?" When multiple models call the show out on its shit and these comments make it to air, you know that Occupy Smize Street is no longer a fringe movement. Vive la resistance!
The girls get made up in their NeNe/Snooki looks, and Kayla Snookies it up by giving another model a lap dance. Shannon isn't a fan of Jersey Shore, and says that this shall be an interesting shoot since she doesn't know Snooki's "mannerisms" -- e.g, how to be a drunken whore. Jay brings in photographer and perennial Top Model favorite Mike Rosenthal, and we jump to the actual nighttime shoot. Laura is first up, and hops on the back of a motorcycle in her full NeNe look. She says that she has personality in abundance to make up for being such a shorty, and so the shoot will be no problem. Laura veers just a little into finger-waving territory, but tries to be modelesque while portraying someone who, though one million feet tall, is not actually a model. I must also mention that the NeNe wig is truly a thing of wonder.
Kayla is next in her "Inspired by Snooki" shoot. She's going for Snooki in the face, and model in the body. I have to say, Kayla manages to still look gorgeous under that Bumpit. However, Jay tells us that Kayla got distracted by people screaming and hollering on the street during the shoot. Mike adds that Kayla wasn't really sure of herself, and wasted a lot of time. That can't be good. Angelea is up next, and is impressed by the fact that she has a police escort. She is inspired by NeNe, and looks kind of insane. Angelea also gets distracted and excited when a fan mistakes her for Tyra Banks. Lisa is also to be inspired by NeNe, but has never watched The Real Housewives of Atlanta (for shame!), so she doesn't know who she is. Bianca helps her out by telling her that NeNe would never be on the back of a motorcycle, but if she was she'd be like, "Chiiiiiiiiiild!" Or she'd be choking someone, no lie. Bianca then puts in a bid for pop-cultural competency by saying how weird it is that a lot of the other models want to be in the business, but don't watch television. This is why I watch so much TV, too! It's professional research, bitches. Bianca continues to be helpful to the others until she remembers that this is a competition, and then shuts up with a good-natured laugh. See, she's not evil at all, except when she is.