Lisa approaches set in character, and actually says these words: "Black girls don't go on motorcycles, 'cause my hair, honey." Yes, Lisa D'Amato just referred to herself as a black girl. She's also, while not exactly in blackface, kind of in orangeface. She's darkened, is all I'm saying. Jay is blown away by Lisa's performance, which involves sexually molesting the guy driving the motorcycle. Allison is next, inspired by Snooki. She apparently does a great job, and it seems like her eyes may actually be glowing in the dark. Dominique is the next Snooki on the bike. Mike says that he gives her points for taking risks, even though some of them didn't work so well. Dominique takes the bandana off of her motorcycle-driving escort, which is not as controversial a move as if she had tried it on Bret Michaels.
Meanwhile, Bianca has requested a jar of pickles to help her get in character as Snooki. She tells us that she never thought one jar of pickles would cause so much drama. Shannon apparently wants to share in the pickle bounty, but Bianca won't allow it. In keeping with her brand, Shannon says, "It's okay! I don't need a pickle anyway!" Bianca also refuses Allison a pickle, even though Allison is just hungry. She admits that it's a little shady to keep the pickles to herself, but rationalizes it as being competitive and not bitchy. I actually think she's right about that. If she has the brains to get a prop that makes sense, she's under no obligation to share. Unfortunately for Bianca, the prop doesn't work out quite as well as planned. Jay doesn't seem to be aware of Snooki's love for pickles, and actually has to instruct Bianca not to make the garlic dill look like a penis. Quoth Jay, "Bianca's choice of a pickle was not a good one. It was very phallic." Mike agrees that it's too porno, and eventually Jay takes the pickle away. Did this cross no one's mind during the hot dog shoot? Jay then instructs Bianca to have more Snooki influence in her posing, and actually uses the words, "Not too modelly!" That is the most cogent three-word summary of this show to date.
Alexandria gets on the motorcycle in her "Inspired by NeNe" getup. You guys, there is so much finger-waving. I just...ugh. I'm surprised she didn't ask for a fried chicken prop. Jay thinks it looks weird for non-racial reasons, saying, "Who are you waving at? You're riding on a bike!" He thinks the whole thing feels amateurish. Shannon is next on the motorcycle, and has a bit of a difficult time channeling Snooki, despite Jay's instruction to make it feel like there's a party happening on the back of the bike. Shannon reminds us that she is in fact the opposite of anything that happens on Jersey Shore -- like all of the seven deadlies, for example -- but thinks she might be able to portray a tamed-down Snooki. Jay is unimpressed by Shannon's signature arm-above-head pose, as well as her "wild side." And that's a wrap!