Back at the house, there is Tyra Mail of Doom. Someone is going home. Bianca puts out the theory that it's going to be a double elimination, and the others seem to agree. Shannon reminds us that Jay wanted her to be more daring, but she argues that she doesn't want to jump off a building like Lisa. What is she even talking about? She makes no sense, ever. Bianca is still naming candid celebrities who wouldn't get in a bathtub. The list includes Kanye West and Courtney Love. Didn't Courtney Love, like, once nurse an adult guy in front of a Wendy's dumpster or something? It would actually kind of be progress for her to pose in a bathtub. But Bianca is ready to argue her case before panel, like a good and stylish model-lawyer. As she commends herself on her opening argument, we head to commercials.
We enter panel not with Tyra, but with one Miss Kathy Griffin, who tells the bitches to walk and that she is replacing Tyra Banks, who has been let go by the company. And then Tyra comes in like she's broken out of her dressing room, and it saddens me that the whole thing is not very funny. I love Kathy Griffin, and she is currently living my dream life as Cher's new BFF, so I choose to believe that she said lots of hilarious things that Tyra nixed. Anyway, there are prizes, there are judges, with Kathy being the guest judge. She was chosen because of her strong brand and strong personality, and Tyra notes that Kathy will have a record-breaking four comedy specials this year. Kathy replies that she'll have lots of making fun of Tyra to do, so Tyra should give her some good material. And I actually just saw Kathy Griffin at Foxwoods (the wonder of it all!) and she mentioned not a word about Tyra or Top Model. Sads.
Laura is up first for critique as NeNe, and ALT seems to like her photo. He says he got the moment, the feel, the attitude and the vibe. Tyra also enjoys Laura's sass and "hoochified" thing. She's selling it. Angelea's NeNe shot is next, and Nigel likes it pretty well. He says that he's looking for a narrative -- he wants to see Angelea in addition to NeNe, and gets that from the photo. Tyra commends Angelea on her God-given cheekbones, as well as her ability to look into the distance and smize into the horizon. She's hor-smizin', everyone! Dominique is next as Snooki, and Nigel applauds her for taking a risk by, like, resting her boobs on the motorcycle driver's head. He says that she's got star quality. Kathy says that Dominique brings the fierceness, but that she'd like to see a beautiful model totally wasted. That's how you bring authenticity to a Snooki photo. Alexandria is next, wearing sheer black harem pants. Despite how tiresome Jay found Alexandria's finger waving, the judges love it and see evidence of both personality and sass. Alexandria snaps her fingers a few times, and I'm sure has to stifle a "You go, girl!" Anyway, as we saw last week, Alexandria does a fine job of looking like a reality TV character.