America's Next Top Model
Kathy Griffin

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Lipstick on a Pigford
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We enter in the post elimination limo, where Lisa has released a solitary tear in memory of the late Bre Scullark. Lisa was shocked at Bre's elimination, and reminds us that the two of them were on the same cycle initially. Doesn't that seem impossible? I mean, partly because I thought Lisa was on Top Model: Cycle B.C. Lisa predicts that things will get interesting in the house now that Bianca doesn't have a bodyguard. We flash back to Bre physically creating a protective zone and insisting that everything was good as Bianca accused people of being crying Christians and whatnot. For her part, Lisa would enjoy seeing a nice, peaceful exit on Bianca's part. Shocker, I know, given how much those two enjoy and respect one another as friends and competitors.

Meanwhile, we are reminded that Alexandria was in the bottom two with Bre and did not go home. It's like each week I turn on this show and forget everything that happened before, and am shocked afresh that Alexandria is still lurking about. Tyra Banks lives to torture us, and that's the truth. Tyra told Alexandria that she looked like a reality TV contestant in her photos. Alexandria was upset by this, even though it was merely a statement of fact. And, given what takes place in this week's photo shoot, it was also laced with either irony or cluelessness. Shannon then jumps in to say that the judges told her last week to be more edgy and less safe in her pictures. She interprets this as them wanting her to be raunchier. Take one guess as to whether Shannon is down with being raunchy. Shannon explains that raunchiness does not mix well with her Godly brand, and she's not changing for anybody. I love how every time anyone gives her a suggestion, she feels that they want her to let Lucifer sodomize her or something. It's very tiresome, no?

The girls return home and see Dominique's best of week photo displayed as digital art. Can you believe she's still here, too? It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world. Bianca is not happy to see Dominique's photo up there, and says that she's kind of adrift since her BFF Bre went home. Basically, it sounds like she has no friends. She explains that the house is very cliquey, and she is currently clique-less. Bianca is alone in the wilderness, with a bunch of hyenas surrounding her. It's a pretty astute metaphor, particularly if you get a good look at Lisa's profile. Bianca knows that she needs a game plan if she's going to avoid being a hyena snack.

Angelea reiterates to us that things in the house are crazy, and adds that Bianca and Alexandria had some sort of disagreement about who was to get in the shower first. We see this in action, and it basically involves Bianca telling Alexandria to calm down, and Alexandria telling Bianca to grow up. Bianca interviews that she made the impossible possible by actually liking Alexandria last season and genuinely believing that she was misunderstood. However, now that Bianca has gotten to know Alexandria, she can see why the other girls all unabashedly hated her so much. Alexandria then gives Bianca shit about not being as "real" as she claims, and Bianca gives the verbal equivalent of a touch football "Bam!" by tossing a dismissive, "Call me when you become an all-star," over her shoulder. With this, we hit the credits.

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America's Next Top Model

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