America's Next Top Model
Kelly Osbourne

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 1 USERS: B+
Downton Shabby

When we return, it's time for the real showdown: Sophie's Margaret Thatcher versus Seymone's Michelle Obama. Sophie is weighed down by her self-described "dodgy wig" as well as her bright blue power suit, while Seymone looks young and fresh and Michelle Obama gorgeous. It all seems unfair, though maybe Britain should just try having more attractive icons amongst its population? Sophie tells us that Seymone didn't do so great, and in fact looked like a fly stuck in a windshield. Next up, we have the completely sensical pairing of Andy Warhol versus Amy Winehouse. Kyle is Andy Warhol, while Louise portrays Amy. Jay has to point out to Kyle that she's holding a camera in front of her face in all of her shots. Louise is strangely reserved. Her rationale for this is that she doesn't want to bring her energy up so her competitor feeds off of it. Apparently, Louise doesn't care about doing a good job, either. She is distinctly lifeless, whatever her strategery might be.

And then it's the moment we've all been waiting for! Native American Mariah gets to portray Pocahontas, complete with Party City clearance rack costume. What a marvelous tribute to her heritage. She doesn't seem to mind at all, though. When she has her first emotional moment, do you think there will be a "Trail of Tears" reference? And to round out this also completely sensical pairing, Jasmia portrays John Lennon. Don't ask me, I don't know. Jasmia tells us that she's done quite a lot of modeling in the U.K., but there's still much more to achieve. She adds that there's also a bit of a limitation for ethnic models in the U.K., and sees this as a great door-opening opportunity. I think she might be a little misguided on that front, and to get things cleared up all she has to do is look at Pocahontas next to her.

Finally, Ashley's Princess Di goes up against Eboni's Jackie Kennedy. Ashley is a bit timid, according to Jay, and she herself tells us that she didn't know what she was doing on the shoot. Additionally, she's really bad at thinking on the spot. Ashley's British colleagues empathize with her plight. Jay tells Ashley to start thinking less Princess Di and more fashion, but her performance still lacks. Ashley cries as Jay tells her to engage and be herself. She's expecting to go home, because she thinks she was rubbish. With yet more English tears, the shoot comes to a close.

Back at the house, there is International Tyra Mail of Doom. Someone is going home. Jasmia is excited at the mere prospect of Tyra Banks knowing her name. Alisha is extremely determined, and hopes that the judges give her a chance to show her mettle. Ashley, meanwhile, heads into the phone booth to call her kids. She cries as she tells us how much she misses them, and when those little Scottish accents respond it's impossible not to feel the uncomfortable twitches of an emotion seep up through even my cold, dead heart. As Ashley tells us that she only wants the best for her children, we head to commercials.

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America's Next Top Model




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