Back at the house, the Brits once again discuss how they need to get it together and make this a real competition. Sophie says calmly, "We need to psych them out." A girl after my own heart! Am I the only one who enjoys Sophie? In any case, the Brits realize that a bunch of the Americans wound up having very similar makeovers. We cut to Sophie telling Eboni that the Americans have to work harder against each other, because they all have the same hair. If there were three girls with pink hair, for example, Sophie says she'd be worried. Alisha adds that Eboni, Kyle and Mariah all have long straight hair with bangs, and that she thinks one of those three bitches is leaving. Eboni's worried look is exacerbated by the GIANT BURN on her cheek. When she first started crying about the curling iron thing it may have seemed over the top, but then you see the baby-fist-shaped mark on her cheek and wonder if Bankable Productions is going to pay for her reconstructive surgery. But back to the issue at hand. I'd say this psych-out is merely a valid observation. The British bitches are totally right!
And then, it's time for what is perhaps the worst challenge to ever grace our screen. There are two tables set up - one for the US, and one for the UK. Each is covered in nasty food native to its respective country, and there is a note from Nigel saying the US girls have to eat the UK food and vice versa. Some of the food is actually pretty normal, like peanut butter or corn on the cob. Is there really no peanut butter in Britain? That is madness. But then there's, like, pickled pig's feet and I think a big block of Spam. On the British side, there are delicacies such as blood pudding and haggis and something called cockles. The worst part about all this is that it doesn't seem like there's even a prize, other than explosive diarrhea.
The challenge begins, and we are awash in gagging sounds. On the subject of pig's feet, Alisha tells us that you might as well chop off your own foot and eat it, given what pigs walk around in all day. Sophie says that US local food is disgusting, while eating an ear of corn. Okay that's madness because corn on the cob is delicious. Somebody show her how to slather butter and salt on that shit! Eboni feels similarly about the British food as she licks a giant glob of Marmite off of a plate. Aren't you supposed to put that on toast? Sophie describes a giant plate of meaty something that sort of looks like pulled pork but I think is something much more foul as smelling like, "A sweaty fat man who'd, like, done a poo." That should be the tag line for this season. Top Model British Invasion: Like a sweaty fat man who'd done a poo. Alisha tells us that the American team made plus-sized Seymone be a tank for them. Sophie is similarly incredulous as she describes how Seymone demolished almost a whole thing of haggis. Sophie tries to do her a good turn by trying to tell her exactly what's in haggis, and that people have died from eating it. Cut to Seymone with her cheeks full like a chipmunk. The Brits add that Ashley is from Scotland and even she doesn't eat it. Seymone just keeps cramming it down, albeit with tears in her eyes. That has to be, like, three pounds of haggis. Thanks in great part to Seymone's efforts, the Americans win this completely useless and prize-free challenge. Celebrate good times, and then purge.













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