America's Next Top Model
LaToya Jackson

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Mind Your Business, All the Time

So, as I mentioned earlier, Bianca seems fairly calm throughout this whole exchange. But then suddenly we cut to Shannon, voice shaking and eyes filled with tears, who says that she tried her best and really doesn't like arguing and Bianca can take her phone time. And not to get all word-problem on you, but Shannon earlier announced that she was number six for phone time, and clearly hasn't gone yet. This means that at least five girls have yet to go on the phone. If five girls each get 20 minutes on the phone, that's 100 minutes. With an hour and a half -- or 90 minutes -- yet to go, this does indeed mean that the last person on the phone gets her time cut short. Math! But anyway, Shannon is still all tearful and says that she doesn't need her time, and Bianca can have it because she doesn't like getting yelled at. Who's yelling? I mean, Bianca hasn't ever gotten an excessively complimentary edit, so if she had actually yelled I'm guessing we would have seen it. Kayla tells us that Shannon is intimidated by Bianca to begin with, and so had a total meltdown. Indeed, we see Shannon going on about how she has a sensitive spirit and getting all red in the cheeks and raspy-throated from emotion.

Bianca explains to us that Shannon "The Crying Christian" Stewart was going off, and Bianca just stood there like, "I didn't do it." She adds that she didn't do anything to Shannon, didn't touch her, and didn't yell at her. And yet, Shannon continues to cry and say that she's willing to give up her time because she doesn't like to argue and doesn't like confrontation. Bianca is just standing there like, "Can you believe this bitch?" She wants to tell Shannon that she can't cry when she's talking to her, because of how Bianca is already the villain. This provides us flashback opportunity, and we see a sepia-toned reminder of Bianca being mean to that other girl who was an exotic dancer. I mean, point taken, she can be kind of a jerk. But that doesn't seem to be what's happening in this case!

Bianca explains to us that before she could even ask anything, Lisa "Sheriff of Top Model Towne" D'Amato jumped in. (I myself am running for the Tooch County school board.) We see Lisa telling Bianca that just because she really wants to talk to her family, that doesn't make her more important. Bianca then gets very brand-approved candid, and the two ladies talk over each other for a while, and then Bianca tells Lisa that she needs to mind her business ALL THE TIME. Lisa's interview response is a simple, "Bang! Boom! Pow!" We cut back to the scene of all the drama, where Laura and Allison look nervous and exit the room. Allison's reactions in the face of unpleasant situations are truly the best. Lisa tells us that Bianca tends to be a bully, and yet she's afraid of everything. Lisa says, "She's scared of water, I'm the deep end. She's scared of dogs, I'm a pit bull. So she better watch her back." After some more screaming, Bianca walks out saying that she has no time for Lisa. Bang! Boom! Pow! Bianca says to Bre that Celebrity Rehab 4, 5 and 6 is calling Lisa's name, so apparently they've resolved their grievances and Bianca is now acting as Lisa's manager. Commercials!

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America's Next Top Model

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