America's Next Top Model

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Let's Dance
ck into a gorgeous photo or two. That is a bottom two eulogy in the making.

Next we have Brenda, who is dressed like your run of the mill administrative assistant. Not that there's anything wrong with that. If you are or work for an accountant. Tyra tells her that the look is not doing her already age-challenged self any favors. Anslee loves this exchange, as you might well imagine. Brenda's African photo says "Saturday Night Live skit" to Sean. ALT adds that there's no sense of dance in the photograph and she might as well have just stood tall like a statue of a giraffe in the Serengeti plains. Tyra wishes that Brenda had moved her arms a bit more.

Alasia steps up to be critiqued and ALT exclaims, "Alasia, what were you thinking today!" Alasia takes off her jacket, as instructed, and ALT further exclaims, "Girlfriend! Darling! It's a swimsuit?" Yes, Alasia is wearing a shiny silver one-piece cutout swimsuit under her jeans. Dreck. I. Tude. But her photo is gorgeous! Lovely! Je t'aime! Her photo is as good as her outfit is bad. Tyra wants her to do interpretive dance for the rest of her life. Alexandra's breakdancing shot also draws raves. It's athletic and shows that she can move, according to Nigel. The only thing it's missing is her neck. With an extended neck, she would have completely rocked it. Angelea's moshing shot is also a hit. ALT exclaims, "Love it! Fa-shon!" Angelea says that at first she was thinking anger, but towards the end she shifted to pain. Sean is blown away that Angelea tapped into an emotion, because even some of his experienced models are still learning how to do that.

Krista is next with her ballet shot. It works for Nigel. The bottom half of her body says ballet, and her face looks like a dream. Tyra adds that the awkwardness of her hands make it fashion. Finally, there's Ren. She was, of course, portraying disco. ALT thinks that the photo is very unsettling. It's not saying fashion. Sean points out that she has a great outfit on, but doesn't seem to feel the moment. Nigel adds that disco has to be one of the easiest genres to copy. Tyra say she's a little confused to why Ren only had an arsenal of four poses. Ren laughs that those were the only four poses she was taught. The judges are not laughing. Tyra says that at one point in the competition, Ren didn't want to be there. Ren replies that there's a lot of drama in the house, and she doesn't like it. Sean says he's there because Wilhelmina is giving a contract to the winner of this competition, which could change her life. And if Ren can't divorce herself from the house drama, it's disappointing to him as an agent. Tyra asks Ren if she wants to stay or go, and we head to commercials.

When we return, Ren says that she wants to stay. And that settles that, I guess. The girls leave, and the judges deliberate. The picture of Jessica is okay, but a bit obvious. Anslee's photo has no imagination. Her face is going for the gold, but her body doesn't even get the bronze. Simone has a faux, bogus confidence in her picture, and even Nigel would know how to do hip-hop. Alexandra is really impressive. Tatianna's picture drew mixed reviews. Krista's photo is a bit expected, but lovely. Angelea's shot is phenomenal. Ren's photo is a mess. Brenda is the "Dreck winner of the week...itude." Tyra says that the photo isn't as bad as everyone is saying, but it is missing edge. Raina's photo is sexy, and it would be high fashion if it weren't for the bowler hat. Alasia, in her photo, encapsulates everything Wilhelmina is looking for. However, in her silver lame swimsuit, she wouldn't get past Wilhelmina's receptionist. Or the lifeguard. And with that, the judges have reached a decision.

Eleven beautiful ladies, ten photos. You know the drill. The first name called and best photo of the week is...Alasia! Oh, good for her. She pledges never to wear her current outfit again. Angelea is called next, followed by Jessica, Alexandra, Krista, Raina, Tatianna, Simone, and Anslee. This leaves Ren and Brenda in the bottom two. Ren has a big smile on her face. Tyra says that Ren was hand picked, and has all the goods. But does she have the wants? Ren shakes her head no. She says that she enjoys the industry, but thinks she's doing this for the wrong reasons. Tyra asks what those reasons are, and Ren says that she's doing this because her mom finally likes her, because she loves the show. Tyra asks how this makes Ren feel, and Ren robotically says, "I mean, either way I don't mind. I mean, if that's how I have to get my mother's attention then that's fine with me." That's...fucked up. I knew her claims of sanity were bogus. And Brenda was going to get a photo anyway. Tyra manages not to freak out on Ren about her lack of modeling desire, which I guess means she's got her meds regulated. Good for her. Tyra tells Ren to communicate with her mama about how all this makes her feel. I'm sure they'll communicate about how Ren made her mom sound like a total crack fiend throughout this episode, at least.

Ren packs her bags, and says that she stayed so long so her mom can actually finally shut up about how she never does anything good. That's, like, verbatim. Good luck mending that relationship! Ren says she enjoys shoots and the actual work, but even if this is a great opportunity, it's not her cup of tea. Good riddance, and try a hot shower once in a while!

Next week: Acting! And a Cover Girl challenge in Times Square! And a vampire themed photo shoot!

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America's Next Top Model

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