America's Next Top Model

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Potes: C- | 1474 USERS: B-
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Blue Hawaii

The girls take a trip on Fierce Airlines and land in Hawaii, where it is sunny and lovely and ahhh, I want to be there right now! Bloody Eyeball tells us in her weird way that the beach is something she craves. Funny, I thought she'd prefer dank tunnels. A rainbow greets the girls, which is appropriate for the Leprechaun-ish stature. And oh, man, their house. It's exactly the house you'd want to luxuriate in if you had a few weeks in Hawaii. The girls are greeted by Jennifer's commercial, which is playing on every TV in the house. Even in the bathroom! She tells us that it's a lot of face time. The girls have their own waterfall, and an ocean view, and many photos of Teyona. It's good times, except for that last bit.

Night falls and the girls receive their first Hawaiian Tyra Mail: "If you want to catch a break, you're going to have to go out there and get it. Love, Tyra." Bloody Eyeball thinks they will be fishing. Laura stands there, looking puzzled and waterlogged. The girls then lounge in their bedroom(s). Erin braids Laura's hair, and sings everyone the new song she made up. It goes, "My name's Nicole and I like art. My name is Jen and I like to fart. My name's Laura, I've got hair like a poodle. My name's Sundai and I love noodles. My name's Brittany and I like math. My name's Erin and I kick ass." The noodles bit at least is pretty great. What can I say? The girl knows how to lay down rhymes. I'd maybe change the last part, though, to "My name's Erin and I inspire wrath." Brittany agrees, as she interviews that Erin is the most annoying person in the house. She does a good impression of Erin freaking out and squealing and says, "Shut up. I can't take it. I can't take the voice anymore." Sadly, she says that in an interview, not to Erin's face. Erin, for her part, thinks that Brittany just sits around making faces. The judges like her well enough, but Brittany needs to watch her attitude since she's still up and down in how she performs. With that note of caution, we head to commercials.

When we return, it is a new day and the girls have made their way to the beach. They encounter a row of surfboards and two people. One is petite model and surfer Sofia Beschen. She's appeared on the cover of Surfing Magazine's swimsuit edition, and walked in New York fashion week. The other is the legendary Buzzy Kerbox, who pioneered something having to do with surfing. He's also appeared in Vogue and modeled for Ralph Lauren. My rule of thumb is: never trust a guy named Buzzy. Sofia tells the girls that surfing requires balance and good body awareness, which is also important for modeling. Sadly, however, you never encounter sharks in a photo studio. Today, Tyra wants the girls to learn how to surf. Laura drunk-interviews, "Holy shit, we're learning to surf!"

America's Next Top Model

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