America's Next Top Model

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Blue Hawaii

Previously: There was teleprompter trickery and madness galore at an Insider interview challenge, while the Cover Girl commercial had the girls going from stiff (Rae) to stressed out (Erin). In the end, we knew that Rae's no personality edit had doomed her from the start. Six bitches remain!

In the post-elimination limo, Jennifer tells Erin that she knew she'd be in the bottom two but wouldn't be sent home. It's this type of passive-aggressive camaraderie that the vile Erin truly deserves. To her credit, however, she agrees and says that her commercial was horrible. She tells us that she got stressed and frustrated, and we flash back to Nigel giving her the what-for at judging. Erin interviews that she's only eighteen, but needs to get better at shutting off her negative emotions and getting down to business. Meanwhile, Brittany tells us that she thinks of Erin as a whiny sixteen year old. This differs from reality only in that Erin is eighteen. Brittany, a wizened twenty-one, says that she's different from everyone in the house -- she knows herself, feels confident, and is more well-rounded. She also differentiates herself from the rest of the models by being able to add.

The girls return home to find their house covered in red tape with the words "danger" and "do not enter." Girl-on-girl crime scene? Perhaps. Two guys in Hazmat suits sort through crusty underwear next to signs that say "condemned." The girls are freaked out but, as always, plucky enough to barge through the tape. Inside they find Tyra pretending to paint a condemned sign on the wall. She wears a couture Hazmat suit with no mask, perhaps because she can smize away any truly toxic airborne substances. Tyra tells the girls that this is the most disgusting Top Model house she's ever seen. And you know how grimy these girls can get. Because the house is so disgusting, Tyra had to bring the Hazmat guys in to quarantine it. And then, much like Tabatha on one of her salon takeovers, Tyra gives a tour of the grossness. There are dirty dishes -- and perhaps a file folder? -- in the sink, and a pan with crusted-on egg bits sits on the stove. Gigantic cinnamon rolls loom near, glazed with nefarious intent. Tyra tells the girls that if you soak a pan in water, nasty egg bits will come off with ease. Life lesson: learned.

They move on from the kitchen into one of the bedrooms, where Sundai's clothes have exploded from her suitcase next to all manner of empty shelves and drawers. Tyra says that the pile of clothes is like home for a rat, then lays rat-like in the pile. She tells the girls that she's lived in models' apartments in Paris and New York, with eight girls at a pop, and they were never this bad. That's because the other models got freaked out about Tyra wiggling rat-like through all their belongings and so put them away on the regular. There are clumps of hair and dirty tissues on the floor, and a little coterie of ants in the shower. Ants in the shower is pretty intense. I can't even imagine what things were really like when Toccara kept that rotisserie chicken by her bed.

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America's Next Top Model

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