America's Next Top Model

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Tall Tales
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: The girls had a tete-a-tete with Wilhelmina President Sean Patterson, and Rachel's tete rolled at a surprise elimination. And then we learned that Tyra has lost the few marbles that remained as she let her multiple personality / alter ego, Super Smize, make an appearance on the show. Partial nudity and horses were just the ticket for many of the girls, but Courtney hit a decline on the equine and was sent home. Eleven bitches remain!

As the episode opens, the girls are in a limo heading home from elimination. Bianca is saddened by being in the final two for a second time (of three eliminations!) and says she's walking on eggshells. I'm sure she'll soon complain about how the eggshells don't complement her skin tone, thus annoying the judges enough to send her to the bottom two for a third time. Bianca says she has to work on her face most of all, and in particular has to make it softer. She also has to work on not being so stank all the time. Will they never learn? Stank gets you far on America's Next Top Model, but it never makes you win.

Back at the house, Erin's mysteriously best-of-week photo is displayed. I really don't get that girl, which I'm sure Tyra would say is because I don't understand about different types of beauty, and thank goodness she is here to learn me. Ashley is also disappointed about her performance last week, and we are reminded that she's a dancer and that's bad. She vows to be more broken down, which is always a good strategy on a reality show. Also try contracting some disease that isn't really your fault (i.e.: not crabs). Lulu says that she thought Bianca was going home for sure, and Ashley replies that she's really tired of Bianca and all of her stank. We get a stank-back showing Bianca being weird about the dishes, and Ashley says to the others that her attitude puts people off. But wait! Perhaps the fault lies not with Bianca alone. Nicole interviews that every time she's around Ashley, Ashley is talking smack about someone. Lulu, according to Nicole, is like a ridiculous little sidekick, and is also delusional. Tough talk for a girl whose first glimpse of the world was through a bloody eyeball. Nicole's final word on the subject is that Ashley and Lulu are judging Bianca without talking to her, and that's not fair. And just to clarify: if I do it or you do it, it's fair. But when the bitches do it to each other? Decidedly unfair. I can't wait to see how this bitchery twist unravels!

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America's Next Top Model

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