America's Next Top Model

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Tall Tales

Jennifer is next, and Jay says that what she's doing is stunning. Moreover, her left eye looks totally normal! Victory. Nicole is next and Jay tells her that when she arches her back her stomach sticks out. She sucks it in, and gives herself three more inches. Ashley is next and really doesn't want to hear the dance critique again. Jay is surprised by how well she does, and says that she stepped out and knew exactly what she wanted to do. We then take a moment from our regularly scheduled photo shoot for a word of shit talk from Lulu and Ashley. Shocking, I know. Lulu tells Ashley that Sundai needs to bring it, and adds that Laura, Brittany and Kara didn't do so well. Lulu and Ashley, of course, think they rocked it. Irony slides on a 4-inch stiletto. Sundai seems to be half good and half bad, and still hasn't figured out how to stop pushing out her lips. Rae is next, and though Jay likes her body he's not sold on her face. He thinks it turns out interesting... ish. Erin's shoot is disgustingly gorgeous.

Then there's Bianca. Jay tells her that he wants her to settle into a softer expression, because there's nothing about this shoot that calls for a diva. Her body language is good, but the face is not happening. Jay says that working with her is both inspiring and frustrating. She lacks vulnerability, and the way she presents herself is really offputting. Jay asks Bianca what warms her heart. The thought of kittens suffocating in a bag. Just kidding! It's Jesus. Lulu smirks, and you can't fault her for that. Jay tells Bianca to look up as if she's seeing Jesus. Maybe His face will be in the brownies upon which someone writes a nasty message. The Lord does wonders for Bianca's face, and that's a wrap.

Back at the house, there is Tyra Mail of Doom. Someone is going home. Bianca paints her toenails and says that this competition has enabled her to grow and show some vulnerability. This means a lot to her, since she's been so hard for so long. She has Jesus to thank, or Tyra. Same difference. She thinks she did pretty well on the shoot. Meanwhile, Lulu and Ashley are STILL talking shit about Brittany! They think that, despite the praise the others heap on her, she looks old in person and photographs old, and her face suction is not working for her. Lulu thinks that Brittany did the worst on the shoot. Brittany, however, feels confident since it would be silly for them to eliminate the girl who won the runway walk challenge. Oh, you poor naïve thing. Just smize and accept the utter lack of reason that governs this competition, and you'll be better off. As Lulu adds a final word on how painful and uncomfortable Brittany's shoot looked, we head to commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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