America's Next Top Model

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Missoni Accomplished

The girls head to hair and makeup, where they are attended to by make-up artist Lidia Permunian and hairstylist Fabio D'Onofrio. People are really named Fabio in Italy! And they're not even hawking fake butter! Crazy. Kayla tells us what a big freaking surprise it is that this shoot is going to entail romance with a male model yet again. She says that this competition means everything to her, and she's completely focused. She knows she has to work on improving her interactions with the opposite sex, and seems determined to use all the force of her will to get through it without freaking out this time. Male model Mario D'Amico, the swarthy Casanova himself, enters the room, and there are beaming smiles and giggles galore. Chris tells us that Mario is a handsome, big-nosed Italian man before emphatically stating -- twice! -- that he is HANDSOME. When a guy can inspire this kind of lust while wearing short pants and a ruffled shirt, you know he's got the goods. Liz asks who Mario models for, and he lists off a who's who of Italian designers -- Armani, Versace, Dolce and Gabbana. Chris becomes RuPaul for a minute as she interviews, "Ooh! I wouldn't mind bringing him home, honey!" Everybody say love!

Designer and stylist Alessandro Possati cinches the girls up in their corsets. Jane says that she probably has a leg up in this competition because she's more familiar with European history than the other girls. Nice try, brainiac, but no. If this show has taught us anything, it's that the gray matter is usually a hindrance. Ann gets a big structured hoop skirt cage type thing which she thinks is awesome, while Chelsey looks ridiculous with structured cage cone boobs worn on the outside of her shirt. She's also been made up to look like an 18th century syphilitic whore. Chelsey tells us that she has a focus on the prize more than anyone else. Some girls -- like Ann -- are becoming a little shaky. Chelsey thinks that she's going downhill, and that the judges are going to send her home eventually if she doesn't step it up. Chelsey's jealousy of Ann is so evident every time she talks about her. I'm sure it must be annoying to have worked hard for years and still not be able to garner the accolades that this girl gets for just standing there. Ann is the most frustrating of all types to her competition -- a natural.

Kayla has a see-through skirt, much like an 18th century version of Gretchen on the Project Runway finale. Alessandro tells her she should not be afraid to seduce with her legs. She says she feels pressure, and her strategy is to focus wholly on Casanova since the whole concept of the shoot is that she's vying for his attention. Kayla is in the first group along with Chris and Liz. They climb into the gondola with Mario, and the first thing we see is Liz complaining that she has sweat running down her eyes. In all fairness, she is wearing a leather jacket in what appears to be oppressive heat. That one might be a set-up. Chris interviews that it's hot as hell, and the sun is unbearable. Then, somehow, Liz's necklace gets caught in Chris's glove. Those two are a mess. Jay agrees that they were awkward at first, and Simone was trying to direct them into a feeling of luxuriousness. Kayla, however, is killing it. She found her comfort zone right off the top, and was particularly soft and feminine. Jay notes that, though she doesn't have any legitimate sexual chemistry with the male model, Kayla made it most believable. That red hair is really working for her now, too.

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America's Next Top Model

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