America's Next Top Model

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Another Day In Paradise

Amis explains that the theme of the house is, "What's your passion, and how can you apply it to the real world and actually benefit people?" Oh, my young naïf. The themes of the house are always, "Made to produce maximum bitchery," and "Doesn't Tyra look great when she's airbrushed?" But you keep dreaming. Marvita tells us yet again that she has a sketchy past, and was homeless when she was eighteen. This loft is the nicest place she's ever been to. I would say that might be true for a majority of non-homeless people, too. Fatima gazes upon giant photos of Tyra and thinks about the horrible experiences she endured while growing up. Looking at Tyra always makes me think about all the bad things that have happened in my life, too! But Fatima's horrible experiences involve genital mutilation. Mine involve, like, finding mouse poop in my kitchen cupboards. What I'm saying is, sometimes something seems bad at the time, but when you put it in perspective, you're just happy to still have a clit. If Fatima wins this show, she wants to use it as a platform.

Atalya, 18, tells us that she's never really been away from home before, and now misses her mom. Atalya is from Brooklyn. It's a journey fit to inspire even the most tuneless among us to start humming "Wild World." Atalya is also incensed that, though there is a clear "no smoking" sign on the doors of the Top Model loft, Amis, Fatima, and Kim had the nerve to go outside and start puffing. Some of the other girls confront them, and Kimberly explains that when she needs a cigarette, she needs a cigarette. She saw the sign, but figured that she was hurting nobody but herself. Gee, I wonder if Kimberly customarily exercises bad judgment in her life? Maybe we'll find out later on in the episode!

The girls hang out in the kitchen, and Amis talks. She's getting on Fatima's last nerve. Fatima tells Amis that she just talks and talks, and Fatima doesn't know what she's talking about. She adds that Amis should be careful, because people won't take her seriously if she acts like a clown all the time. Marvita gets a look like, "And these bitches make ME go to therapy every week?" Fatima adds that SHE doesn't think that Amis is a clown, but other people MIGHT see her like that. Amis tells Fatima that she says things in a way to irritate people and get them to react. Fatima apologizes halfheartedly. Marvita interviews that she doesn't know what Fatima's deal is, but she really has to watch her. For tips, probably. After Amis walks out Fatima mumbles to herself, "I didn't know I could actually make people feel upset. It's interesting." Ah, the famous first taste of the power of bitchery. Tyra probably got all misty-eyed when she watched this scene.

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America's Next Top Model

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