America's Next Top Model

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Another Day In Paradise

Amis is first to be critiqued. Paulina just points at her and says, "Bad skin." Ha! And then she tells her to get a good dermatologist. Allison, the eighteen-year-old vampire from Waunakee, Wisconsin, doesn't think that Amis is very modelesque. This actually seems like a kind statement compared to what Paulina is spouting. To wit, she tells Dominique that she looks like a transvestite version of Robin Wright Penn! Neal Hamil totally does the gay gasp on that one before adding that they both want to take a brillo pad and clean her up. Hee! Paulina thinks that Kimberly is very High School Musical, but Paulina also senses a dark side that she wants her to bring forth. Oh, just you wait, my bitchy Polish amour. Paulina tells Marvita that she, like Katarzyna and Paulina herself, has a slightly smooshed face. She tells her never to bite down on her back teeth when she's being photographed, because it will make her face look square. That's a helpful tip! I never thought anyone could replace Janice Dickinson in my heart, but Paulina is making a move. Anya tells us that you just want to go and hug Paulina and get to know her and ask her opinion. Yes on the first two, but I'd like to keep up the illusion that I don't look like a drag queen, thank you very much.

Neal hands the girls the address for the first photo shoot. They head downstairs where a giant Hummer limo painted like a taxi meets them. It says "Fab Cab" on the side, which Atalya thinks is very cool. En route to the photo shoot, Amis says that Paulina was right on with everything. Amis owns her zitty skin! Atalya thinks it's exciting to know that they have potential. I don't remember hearing that at all. And then, there's Fatima. She tells Marvita that she and Katarzyna have similar faces, and that in fact Marvita's face is small and almost squished in. Marvita's response? "This ho is trippin'." I must confess that I've been on the fence about Marvita, but it was that moment that solidified my love. Marvita tells Fatima that she's never before met a mean African. Idi Amin doesn't count. She interviews that Fatima was trying to push her buttons and get the best of her, but that wasn't going to happen. But, let us all pray, it will eventually. Commercials.

And, oh, it's Saleisha's Life as a Cover Girl. The gist is that you can't be a Cover Girl whilst looking like Tootie. I somehow credit Queen Latifah for this excellent decision.

When we return, the girls arrive at the site of their shoot. Mr. Jay tells them that today they'll be putting a spotlight on a major issue -- homeless youth. And, in fact, they'll be posing with homeless partners. But! The models will be in "street clothes," while the actual homeless people will be in high fashion outfits. I certainly hope Professor Higgins has run through the proper vowel sounds with the homeless extras already. You know the show was too cheap to give the bitches a hot meal, too. Jay introduces Taz Tagore, the executive director of the Reciprocity Foundation, which enables homeless youth to go to college and start careers that they're passionate about. The goal of the Foundation is to make homelessness something that you can break. Marvita knows how it is to be homeless, and wishes she had something like the Reciprocity Foundation. Keep that business card in your back pocket, is all I'm saying.

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America's Next Top Model

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