America's Next Top Model

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A House Divided

Krista is up first for her photo shoot. Her character is an aspiring actress who is late to an audition. Jay tells us that she looks breathtaking in her dress that is topped by a giant flower. The photos are being taken on a moving train, I hope that means that someone falls. Then there's Anslee, who is an artist. This means she wears very colorful garb and a little flowery hat thing. Jay tells her that she's trying to engage, but she looks like she's smelling subway dookie. Alexandra is an Upper East Sider, and in her beret and pearl necklace actually looks a bit like a pastel Monica Lewinsky. Mike tells Alexandra to make him believe it. Alexandra literally stops breathing, which is not pleasing to Jay and Mike. Maybe it really does smell like pee on that subway car. Raina is next as "East Village rockabilly." She puts her hands up to her face, and Jay tells her that it looks too posed.

Meanwhile, more makeup shilling. Then there's Jessica as a silver-clad club goer. She tells us that the subway was distracting, and it was hard to keep her balance. Mike asks for a smirk, and then he and Jay tell her that she's overthinking it. Angelea is next, and says that she'd better get photo of the week. She promises to go crazy if Jessica gets photo of the week one more damn time. Angelea is a fashionista, and knows how to give a sexy smirk to camera. Jay tells us that this is Angelea's best shoot by far in the competition -- she brought a confidence and studied poise to her photographs today that was breathtaking. You know, I think Angelea's sense of well-being has an inverse relationship to heightened drama. So, the more drama, chaos and madness around her, the more calm, cool and collected she becomes. Everyone gives her a round of applause for being so awesome.

Then there's Brenda, who is playing a really nerdy student. She says she needs this shoot to go well, particularly since all of her critiques have had to do with her need to look younger and fresher. She tries to leave the drama at home and focus. Brenda's efforts are in vain. Jay tells us that there's something about her bones that makes her look more mature, so she loses that young, carefree vibe. When your bones look old, you're in trouble. Alasia is next, and is an instant freak as she comes on the set. Jay tells her the look they're going for is Cover Girl, not "two dollar ho." Alasia's character is "model on a go-see," which is certainly the biggest stretch of the bunch. Jay says she looks like she's giving them a very bad Polaroid shot. She's being giggly, silly, and not pretty. At the end of the shoot, Jay tells her that he doesn't have a picture that he can even show Tyra. Next time she steps on set, he says, even if she's excited, giggly, and happy, she shouldn't forget what she's there to do. It's a job. Alasia starts crying. She tells us that she didn't bring her best today, and things didn't go as expected. With that somber news, it's a wrap.

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America's Next Top Model

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