America's Next Top Model

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A House Divided

The girls now get to put their knew knowledge to use. They are told to go through a pile of clothes and accessories and pick out an outfit that suits their sense of style and body type. They have five minutes to get dressed. Anslee interviews that Brenda had a bit of trouble, since she didn't know where her waist was. This is a pretty dumb thing, and yet unsurprising coming from Brenda. When the girls are dressed, Ann and Miss J. give them critiques. Ann acknowledges that Brenda had a hard time figuring out where her waist was, but the wide belt she chose helped to lift up her look visually. Ann likes Angelea's cute flats, which make her look very sweet. She suspects that Angelea was playing up her Seventeen attitude. No one mentions that she looks like a drag queen participating in the "teen princess realness" category at a ball. [I fully expect that to be a challenge next season on RuPaul's Drag Race. -- Angel] Alasia looks amazing, but she apparently was mistaken in thinking that she has a short torso. She doesn't know her body type. In fact, Ann says, Alasia is an hourglass. Alasia had no idea that she's considered curvy, since she's pretty skinny. Ann tells the girls that they get to keep the clothes they've tried on today, and should be proud of what they've learned.

Back in the limo, it's time for another battle of the stankness. The first thing we see is Jessica telling Alasia that normal people care about others besides themselves. This all has to do with Alasia's lateness, apparently, which Jessica says is inconsiderate. Jessica goes on by saying that when you're a mom you care about other people. Alasia calmly replies, "But you don't have to, though." I never considered that line of reasoning, but think it's genius. Jessica then snaps, "Quit talking while I'm talking." Sometimes conversation involves other people talking. I don't think this was meant to be a conversation, though. Krista goes wild with delight when Jessica tells Alasia to quit talking, because she knows what's coming next.

Alasia freaks the fuck out, as she is wont to do. She interviews that Jessica was trying to treat her like she's smaller than Jessica is. Jessica can't disrespect her, she says, and then demand respect from her. Again, this is a pretty cogent point in the midst of all the madness. Jessica kind of giggles as Alasia screams and waves her finger and ends with, "Don't say nothing else to me, little girl!" Angelea is having fits of delight, and does her little cat-claw motion and sound effect. Alasia confessionalizes that she and Jessica come from two totally different worlds. Jessica is Malibu Barbie, while Alasia is Marietta Barbie. Actually, I think Jessica is Murfreesboro knocked-up-at-sixteen Barbie. Back in the limo, Alasia continues to scream that if the others don't want to hear her voice, they simply need to shut up and talk about something else. Everyone except Alasia is laughing, which actually makes me kind of sad for her. Commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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