America's Next Top Model

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Previously on America's Next Top Model: Makeovers! There was much merriment, until there were many tears. Fo was distressed at her boyish Peter Pan haircut, and didn't help her own case by wearing a red plaid flannel shirt. The girls were photographed by Nigel at a shoot in which they had to light themselves. Jessica was impressed by her own prettiness, but, as I'm sure Tyra has said on more than one occasion, prettiness does not a model make and she was given the stiletto shootie. Eleven bitches remain!

It is night. The girls head home from judging in their giant limo, and Teyona is pleased to see her best-of-the-week photo displayed as digital art in the model home. Teyona interviews that the competition is getting hard. On the one hand, it's sad to see a friend getting sent home. On the other hand, it's not that sad, because it's always better that someone else get thrown back to life and back to reality. She tells the other girls that she doesn't mean to be rude, but it's kind of nice that they have a little extra space now. Once they get rid of Kortnie they'll be swimming in it. Aminat points out that somebody has to go home every week. I'm happy that she's retained something from her eleven seasons of viewing that doesn't directly involve tooching your booty. Nijah has a great personality, but all the judges see when they're looking at her photos is a pretty corpse with dead eyes. She confessionalizes that she's not boring and is trying to work on her intensity. She thinks she'll have it right next week. That would be this week. And that would be the ever-famous foreshadowing of doom.

Tahlia, meanwhile, is really upset after her panel critique. She interviews that the competition is getting to her. She doesn't have the experience, knowledge or education in being a model. Also, the judges keep telling her that she has no self-confidence, which makes her believe that she has no self-confidence, despite the fact that she walked into the competition feeling pretty good about herself. She eats grapes out of a plastic baggie and prepares to buck up and prove her mettle. Aminat tells her that this is New York, and it's the time of her life. All she has to do is look good and have fun and be interesting. It seems like such a simple equation, and yet ends up being so hard for so many of the dullards before us. Aminat says that if you can't manage to hit the three basic checkpoints on the road to Top Model success, then you deserve to go home.

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America's Next Top Model

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