America's Next Top Model

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Potes: B | 1108 USERS: B-
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There is Tyra Mail! "Mind your Ps and Qs. And J. Love Tyra." Everyone is immediately certain that they'll be having runway fun times with Miss J. Natalie tells us that she has a really good runway walk. She was with an agency, and because of her previous experience has an edge over the other girls. What she doesn't have an edge on is brains, if she left her agency to be on this show. She tells us that she's going to win this competition because she's a great model. You would think that her logic would stand up to reason in a modeling competition, yet I think we all know that great modeling only gets you so far with Tyra. Natalie takes her role as mentor very seriously and gives other girls advice on their walks. In turn, Aminat gives her the stink eye. She interviews that Natalie is getting cocky. She may have experience and a great body, but she needs to fill herself out with a piece of humble pie. Natalie is not in the mood for pie now, thanks, even with Cool Whip on top.

The girls head to their teach with Miss J. and Allison tells us that her runway walk is a point of extreme insecurity. She's very nervous to walk for Miss J. She's the season's "thinker," and is going to try to work on being more natural and not overanalyzing into oblivion. Maybe she should just stick to being preoccupied with thoughts of bloody noses. It seems to have worked for her thus far. The girls end up at an old mansion with a grand staircase that is perfect for a fabulous entrance from a tired queen. Indeed, Miss J. saunters down wearing Jackie O. hair and telling the ladies to simmer down. He then welcomes them to Miss J.'s Charm School. I guess this is where we learn how charming it is to tell someone that they're working it like the rent is due tomorrow. Miss J. tells the girls that they all look absolutely dreadful. This, at least, is true. He has them all go change into pearls and chinos and cardigans. When they return, he pours some tea and tells them today's walk is going to be about grace, poise, elegance and "smooth." I mean, it makes 75% more sense than most things he says, so let's just go with it. Celia, being a giant nerd, tells us that Miss J. floats, and it's beautiful. She's blown away. I bet if she had an umbrella a strong gust actually would carry her quite a ways. Fierce.

America's Next Top Model

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