America's Next Top Model
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When we return, it's time for some belly dancing! Lisa tells us that for a top model, being in control of your body is everything. Except when you are being completely objectified, which is pretty much all the time. So a lady named Noor is giving them some lessons. Lianna tells us that dancing is not her strong point, but she decided to get over the embarrassment and go for it. Lianna is one pasty-ass Brit. Noor tells Jasmia to close her legs to be more feminine, and Abigail notes that Jasmia was stiff and not in the mood to do it. Abigail, however, loved it. The girls get outfitted in some fancy belly dancing outfits, and Abigail notes that her top makes her chest look bigger than previously believed possible. Seriously, those puppies are on display. Think Tyra on an average day. The girls then have to test out their skill in front of an audience at a restaurant or bar, which of course includes the judges. Lisa says that the girls look fabulous, and yells at them to work it. The judges hoot and holler as the girls dance. Paula actually gives them a standing ovation at the end. I think she's drunk. When they're through, Noor tells them that the whole thing was a challenge. Abby wins. Ha! In your face, bitches. Or, rather, bitch in the singular. Abby says that she knew she was going to win, because she enjoyed the experience the most. For her prize, she gets a computer phone encased in pink Swarovski crystals. Abigail yells, "Paris Hilton's got one of these!" Apparently, the phone is also in the shape of a crab. The final photo shoot of the competition takes place in the ancient Marrakesh sukh. Top photographer Jim Marks meets the girls and tells them that all he needs are beautiful pictures. Easier said than done, my friend. The girls get made up, and Lianna gets a big fake ponytail that makes her look a lot better. Abigail tells us that Jasmia wasn't feeling very well. Apparently she had a big headache. Dude, take some Advil. Jasmia says that she was stressing, and couldn't really totally relax. Well, this is a fine time for it. Jim tells her that she looks sufficiently miserable for a model. Ha! Abigail tells us that in her last shoot, she was trying to think of all the advice and critiques that the judges had given them throughout the competition. When the photographer tells her to pose a certain way, she says that Paula hates it when you can't see their hands in a photo. Jim asks if Paula's there. Paula is always there in spirit! Meanwhile, there is Lianna. She basically is at a loss because her shoot has no props and nothing for her to lean against, and the photographer told her to do whatever she wanted to do. She is kind of freaking out. She says that she felt numb when she was posing and it was horrible, because she knows that she'll look dead in the picture. Jim tells her that it wasn't that bad, but she doesn't believe it.
America's Next Top Model