America's Next Top Model
Next Top Model: British Invasion, Part II

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Union Jacked Up
Now that they've vented in the studio, it's time for the bitchery to come back home. Tamar says that they all decided that they had to talk and ease the awful atmosphere in the house. Well that sounds mature and un-fun! But as with this kind of thing Stateside, you can be sure that it will devolve into at least a little nastiness. Ah, comfort. Abigail confronts Lianna and says that she's been getting digs in at people all week, and Lianna's comeback is that she's temperamental and she knows that. She says that it's hard for people to come in the house and get on with that. In the end, apologies are offered, but resentments linger. Can't there be some sort of physical manifestation of the lingering resentments, like a bikini-clad Jello fight? At panel, Abigail gets some good marks on her photo, thus redeeming her performance from the previous week. Even dodgy Paula likes it. The judges note that she's a bit emotional, and Abigail says it's the result of some stuff happening in the house. Paula tells her to shake it off, because this is a competition. Seriously, put on a game face. Lisa asks Lianna what the situation is with her and Abigail, and Lianna says that they just had a discussion. Lisa asks if she's having a difficult time in the house, and Lianna says that she doesn't know how she feels. Paula tells her to pull down her "[beep] shield." Bitch shield? Fuck you shield? Some kind of shield, in any event, that will allow things to bounce right off of her. Rubber shield? Weird. Sam's photo is straight-up ugly. Sarah's is really jowly, and Paula says that she looks like she has an abscess and is about to head-butt someone. Pretty. She winds up in the final two, but it's Sam who goes home. Lianna quite awesomely says that she was so happy that Sam went home, and that Sam came and gave her a big hug and told her to be strong, and then Lianna had to wipe Sam's nasty tear off of her own cheek and be like, "Bitch, I don't give a piss." Sam says that she'll just carry on being the way she is, and hopefully that will get her somewhere in the end. Given the fact that she seems to be universally hated, I kind of doubt that. Bye, Sam! Commercials. When we return, there are seven girls. Top promo director Jason Clifford tells the girls that they are going to be shooting a 30 second jewelry promotion. The girls are excited, until they find out that Jason is going to bring out a rain machine which will soak them. There's, like, one sunny day in England and they have to ruin it like that for these poor girls? Total bullocks! Georgina is first, and Jason yells at her that she's enjoying it and is euphoric and it's so hot. Georgina says that she couldn't believe she was in sunny L.A. when in fact she was actually in cold, windy Sussex. Wait a second... who's Georgina? Something tells me that she's not going to win. Jasmia is up next and starts dancing around like she couldn't be happier. Jason says that he was asking for personality, personality, personality, and Jasmia gave it in bucket loads. Then there is Sarah, who really went all the way by going into the stinking, dirty water of wherever they are and acting happy about it. Not so happy is Abigail, who says that she felt like a complete idiot and could have done it better if she were a bit drunk. Many a lass has said those words before. Tamar rounds out the clips and looks like she is giving birth to a ferret. In fact, she just lost her hairpiece. Between her legs. I don't know about Tamar.

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America's Next Top Model

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