MONDO EXTRAS

The girls stand before Lisa. When Lisa first met Lucy, she was a shy, unconfident young lady, unaware of her beauty. Which is, I'm sure, why she chose to enter a modeling competition. But Lucy has blossomed into the most gorgeous young lady. Edwina was young and inexperienced when Lisa first met her, but she's risen to every challenge and is every inch a model. The winner will receive an exclusive photo shoot with cosmetics retailer Ruby and Millie, a fashion spread in B Magazine, a contract with Models 1, and representation from the Beatrice agency in Milan. (I know that means nothing to any of us not in Britain, but I thought I'd give you the details anyway.) And the girl who is Britain's Next Top Model is...Lucy! Like you had any doubt. She jumps up and down and yells and is generally excited. No one gives a shit about Edwina anymore, and she's mad about it. She's feeling like a loser. That's because she is a loser! Ha! Whose face is it in now? She fades from the group photo, leaving Lucy victorious.

Lucy says that everything you do and succeed at makes you a lot stronger, and makes you realize that you don't have to be afraid of everything. You can do anything. The show has changed her life. It's good because she can do what she wants now, and doesn't have to worry about problems or going away from home, because she's done it. It's made her a stronger individual. Wow, she is really completely inoffensive. Almost offensively so. Lisa says Lucy's proven that she has what it takes to make it in all aspects of modeling, and blah blah blah Tyracakes. I mean, I know the end got a little boring, but it's at least nice to have a different set of dumb-asses to mock, isn't it?

Coming up next...British Invasion II!!! Blimey!