America's Next Top Model
Nicholas Tse

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Wuthering Heights

Nicholas goes over the fight moves, which actually do seem to be pretty simple. Eboni took Tae Kwan Do in third grade, so clearly has the requisite experience to take this challenge. The models all get paired up with a stunt man to practice the fight scene, but since Laura had the best photo of the week she gets paired up with Nicholas Tse himself. You know how that's going to go. Annaliese, meanwhile, has a fierce upper cut. It might have something to do with her years of gymnastic training, if we are to believe her interview footage. Alisha, it turns out, is a kung fu movie enthusiast, and she tells us that she picked up the routine pretty quickly. Her facial expressions as she's knocking a dude out are pretty hilarious. Sophie, meanwhile, is from Oxford, where no one ever fights. She looks like a figure made of toothpicks, trying to take down a blood sausage. I suspect she is not going to win this challenge.

And then there's Laura. We hear Nicholas telling her that the sexiest part of the move involves throwing the hips in as she punches. And you know Laura perks up at the word "sexy." Her hair looks so whack now, I can't even tell you. She really must have some game if she's landing an international movie star while her dirty-ass hair is standing up in a frozen ponytail shape all on its own. She and Nicholas trade some sensual punches while engaging in eye-fuckery, and in an interview Laura giggles about how hot Nicholas is and tells us that she has a thing for Asian men. Yeah, but she also has a thing for poles on the street if Alisha is to be believed. Eboni weighs in by telling us that it wasn't fair for Laura to be paired with Nicholas, and Annaliese says that even though Laura is such a sexual person, her kung fu moves left something to be desired. The girls eventually practice their lines, to hilarious effect. Alisha doesn't think that any of them (herself excepted) can act, and really wants to prove that she can excel at this challenge, particularly after appearing thrice in the bottom two.

The girls then begin the challenge proper. Each model gets one practice round, and one real take. Nicholas tells us that he's looking for star quality and radiance on screen, and also sexy hip action. Eboni is up first, and though her acting is rather wooden, she does look good in the fight scene and she rips off her jacket at just the right time. This, however, will probably not compensate for the fact that she totally flubs her exit line. Alisha is next, and while her line delivery is pretty solid and she throws in a little wink for extra excitement, she does look kind of crazy in the face while beating down a guy with her kung fu moves. Annaliese is next, and uses that word "fan-dabby-dozey" again while explaining how awesome it would be to win this challenge. For that alone, she deserves to lose. I think she's the best actor of the bunch, but her fighting is very... enthusiastic. Then there's Laura. As will come as a surprise to no one, she's inspired by Angelina Jolie. She says that Angelina's hair is always whipping around sexily in her fight scenes, so that's what Laura plans to emulate. As she goes to beat up the dude, she pauses to remove her ponytail holder, which let me tell you is COMPLETELY natural. Because who doesn't want to take their hair down when they're kicking somebody's ass? It's really an advantage to have your vision compromised! And then the best part is that her hair is so dirty and stiff that it really doesn't even move! Hahaha. It's ridiculous, and also her line delivery is pretty weak. Finally, there's Sophie. Alisha puts it pretty succinctly when she says that Sophie is like a little fairy, so when she punches people it's as if glitter is coming out of her fists. If there's ever a Tinkerbell Gone Wild feature, she's a natural.

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America's Next Top Model

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