After a break, we rehash the scene, and Shannon tells Jay that what makes the bikini bottom okay is that it's a bathing suit, which you would wear to the beach, as opposed to underwear, which are only for her husband to see. Now, come on. You know those two crackers do it through a hole in the sheet. Jay points out to us what we already know -- that the bikini bottoms leave less to the imagination. He thinks that Shannon is still "confused." And also an idiot. With that, the shoot is over.
Jay gathers the girls to drop some knowledge. They're going to meet with the judges, who will critique their photos. But there's a twist. The judging will be at Nokia Plaza L.A. Live, in font of a ton of fans. Live public judging! It's sort of like a public execution, but with more swagger. And speaking of swagger, Nicki Minaj will be the guest judge! The fans file in, and the girls start to get nervous. The Jays greet the crowd, and Jay Manuel says that for this cycle they listened to the fans and brought back their all-time favorite cast members. Again: lies. He then introduces the woman who started it all, Miss Tyra Banks. She's wearing a Fozzie Bear hat, and looks shockingly non-glam. Her wig has split ends. I don't know how that happens. Tyra then introduces Nicki Minaj, who is apparently a huge Top Model fan. The regular old judges come out next. There's Nigel, who has hair again. It gives me the shivers. And of course there is Andre Leon Talley, who just came from auditions for an all-wizard production of The Music Man. I would actually pay at least $80 to see him sing "Marian the Librarian."
Lisa is first to come out for judging. She's wearing a Mad Hatter hat and tie-dye belly top. She actually gets a fair amount of cheers from the audience, and does a jumping kick to remind us how craaaaazaaaay she is. Lisa talks about how she's doing music, and her stage name is La Puchinetta. Nicki looks unimpressed, but she likes saying "Puchinetta." Lisa's photo gets loud cheers, from Lisa. She requests that the crowd show her some love, and they reluctantly oblige. Upon Lisa's jumping-split pose, Nigel says that Lisa is showing a lot more than love in her picture. Nicki doesn't like Lisa's weirdly hunched shoulder but thinks that otherwise she rocked it. Lisa is so happy to hear this positive feedback that she goes into a split right on the stage. Great, now they're going to have to disinfect again.