America's Next Top Model
Nikos Papadopoulos

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Work Your Salad

We enter on the bus, post-elimination. It's totally sunny outside, even though I always assumed those things happened at night. That's probably because of the heightened sense of drama, and also because it's dark when I watch them happen. But I know windowless hotel conference rooms well, and their distinct ability to make you feel like you've entered a sunless, air-controlled purgatory. Laura says, "And then there were six." This is actually helpful, because, speaking of purgatory, I always feel like this show doesn't have an end date. It does, and it's kind of soon! Merry Christmas, Potes. The girls congratulate Angelea for emerging phoenix-like from the bottom two yet again. Angelea is disappointed at her near-constant bottom positioning, because she's actually taking this shit seriously.

Angelea then graciously congratulates Allison, whose video was named the best last week. Allison, in an interview that's clearly from the beginning of the season given the giant rag atop her head to cover up her makeover hair, says that she's feeling great and confident. Even though she can't compete with loud, strong personalities, she knows that she's capable. "Capable," like "competent" and "proficient," really seem like non-compliments until you realize just how many people are unable to meet even the lowest standards. Speaking of proficient, Shannon points out that she's the only model to have gotten best photo exactly zero times. She confessionalizes that she's very focused on this competition, and that she's gotten thousands of emails from girls who say that she's their role model. Refusing to model in underwear is not just for her, you cynics. It's for the children.

The girls head out to lunch, and make a toast to such a beautiful day. Dominique reminds us that she has two adorable girls at home, and she misses them terribly. However, they're providing her with even more motivation and inspiration to keep going and subject herself to being a life-sized crouton. (Spoiler.) And then, in a very interesting interview, Angelea tells us that she wants to like Dominique, but Dominique is an actress. An actress playing the part of an excessively boring person, I may add. Angelea adds, "You're not a positive Patty all the time. You have issues too." Back at lunch, Dominique proposes saying grace, and Angelea gives her a touch of the stinkeye. She tells us that Dominqiue is fake, and is trying to be something that she's not. Angelea wonders if she'll crack and show the true Dominqiue. I certainly hope so, as it would at least justify her presence on this show. Seriously, can you believe she's still here? Final six! I thought she'd be one of the first three out who were cast just to get cut. Seeing her whip out some stank and/or emotional trauma would actually be a relief.

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America's Next Top Model

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