America's Next Top Model
Nikos Papadopoulos

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Work Your Salad

Miss J. hands out information packets, and tells the ladies that in their speeches they should include a little bit of information about themselves, wow the crowd with their knowledge of Greece, and try to incorporate something in Greek. Laura is nervous about this latter part, given that her grasp on her native language of English is tenuous at best. Despite the fact that it hasn't been a plotline yet this season, Laura is still dyslexic, after all. On the plane, the girls study their Greek terms, and Miss J. approaches Angelea to see if she's sprucing up her speech. She's actually looking out the window. She says she's going to speak from her mind and her heart, and doesn't want to be too contrived or come off as insincere. Plus, Greece is now basically the 716 of the European Union, so she'll feel right at home. As Angelea emphasizes how much she wants to win this challenge so it can launch her career interviewing celebrities, we head to commercials.

When we return, the girls have landed in Crete. Their press conference will be taking place on the runway, like they are the Obamas, in front of such dignitaries as Maria Kafetzaki, the President of the Regional Department of Tourism, and Dmitris Kounenakis, the Mayor of Agios Nikolaos, Crete. Wait until these folks see how America's Next Top Model will honor their culture in the photo shoot later on! I'm sure they'll be proud. It is VERY windy, which should at the very least provide some exciting upskirt shenanigans. Lisa emerges from the plane first, in her insane outfit. Her top is quasi-midriff baring, and studded all over, and she's wearing a stupid hat. This type of ensemble really doesn't work in your favor when you're naturally pretty busted. Lisa gives her greeting in Greek, then talks up her over the top personality. Out of all the Greek goddesses, she'd be Athena, and she's excited to eat Greek food. Lisa signs off in Greek, then shouts, "Whoo! Let's rock n' roll!" She gets a big buzzer on that one, but if she hadn't said something obnoxious and dumb it just wouldn't have been true to her brand.

Allison is next, and Lisa says that she will probably try to memorize the most Greek words, which will make her speech dull to listen to. Shut up, Lisa. Indeed, Allison does start off with some Greek phrases, then talks about the things she wants to see during her stay. She adds, half in Greek, that she loves to paint and loves Mythology, particularly the muses and the fates. Both Jay and Vicky like her presentation, even though I must admit that it came off as a little rehearsed. Shannon is next, and talks about her feel for life and how she believes that anything is possible. She adds that she wants her life to be an example that you can achieve your dreams even if you keep your standards high. Oh my God, no one in Greece wants to hear about your virginity, you twit! The crowd doesn't know when she finishes, because they weren't listening. Vicky tells us that Shannon's speech was very egocentric, and Jay adds that she should have been more relaxed.

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America's Next Top Model

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