America's Next Top Model

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European Disunion

Ann and Nony give the girls their critiques. Nony tells Joslyn that never in fashion do you want to represent a strip show. She encourages her to strive for elegance. Sheena had too much movement. Marjorie was practically half-naked, and needs to rely on senses other than vision to know when clothes are falling down. Elina had elegant movement, and showed her big sleeve off to good effect. And she's the winner. Europe: 1. America: 765. Fighting oppression one green body suit at a time. Sam is pissed that Elina won, but not for the normal reasons. Turns out that Elina hates holidays and is an atheist, so her appearance in a holiday editorial seems a bit ironic. Well, maybe it does to those of us born on U.S. soil, but not to Europeans, who eat irony like so many Croque-monsieurs. We travel with Elina and her two buddies, Analeigh and Marjorie, as they shoot their holiday spread. There is nothing holiday-ish about it, so I think the atheists of the world will probably approve.

Tyra Mail! "A well-read model is always prompt. Love, Tyra." The girls deduce that they will be shooting a commercial. Meanwhile, Joslyn is feeling a bit under the weather, both physically and, it must be said, mentally. She looks like she's about to crack. In the kitchen, someone is eating teriyaki sauce, and Sam takes the opportunity to do her famous "oriental" impersonation. Analeigh tells her that this could possibly be offensive. Sam doesn't understand what could possibly be offensive, and Analeigh tells her that she has to be careful with some of her accents. Oh, she has a whole repertoire, does she? That actually sounds like it might be pretty horrible. Sheena pipes in by saying that she's Asian and she's not even offended. Marjorie shoots a look over to Elina, and Sheena decides it's time to have it out. She tells Marjorie and Elina that since the conversation on the bus, they've been acting a certain way and things have changed. Elina's all, "Since you insulted us?" She was about to say "me," because she really could give a rat about Marjorie.

Sheena soliloquizes, "Bottom line is, we all come from some sort of background, whether we have been repressed, whether we have been racially criticized. Stop putting it on being European. Grow out of it. Come out the shell." Elina says that her performance has been criticized because of her way. What she doesn't understand is it's not the European way that's being criticized, but rather her generally douchey way. Sheena says that she's not going to criticize, she's going to ask questions, such as whether Elina felt conflicted about doing a Christmas spread in Seventeen. Elina does not, and I'm with her on that. It would be pretty stupid of her to deny a modeling gig just because she's a godless heathen. She should have some accomplishments to mull over as she spends eternity in hell. Sheena basically calls Elina a hypocrite, and Elina says this is the silliest thing she's ever heard in her life. Sheena thinks that Elina thinks it's silly because she doesn't know what to say in the face of such an accurate point. In fact, it's just silly. Marjorie and Elina sit in the confessional together, and Marjorie says that the others are bitter about not winning and are trying to accuse Elina of being a beneficiary of something she does not deserve. I don't know what that means, but it sounds vaguely European in nature. Sheena and Elina do the, "Are you finished? Are YOU finished?" game and we head to commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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