America's Next Top Model

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Rodeo Girls
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on America's Next Top Model: The girls went for a wild ride on a moving conveyor belt runway, and even though there were some stumbles nobody broke a leg. The much-hated Kacey won the challenge, to the chagrin of everyone else. Kacey and Lexie went at it again, and Liz and her emphatic spittle couldn't resist getting into the mix. Continuing the homage to fake drama, all of the girls got into the ring for a photo shoot inspired by Mexican masked wrestling. Tyra asks if we can believe that Ann got top photo for the fourth time in a row. I for one cannot, and I have a feeling that ten other bitches (including Ann) are with me on that one. Lexie was not a very good model, and that finally got her sent home. Nine bitches remain!

The girls ride in their little party bus back to the house. Kayla reminds us that she grew up with nothing and slept in a sleeping bag until she was in high school, while her mom fraternized with someone she was forced to call "uncle." Top Model is a dream for her, and she says that two years ago this would have seemed impossible. Meanwhile, Chris calls Ann "The Last of the Quirkies." Daniel Day-Lewis shall play her in the film adaptation. A monotone Ann interviews that her confidence is really high right now. She's gone from not being so sure about herself to getting top photo four times in a row. Ann starts to well up with tears as she says she feels like a model and not just a gangly girl who sits in the back of class. She really does feel pretty, and is really happy, and even manages to crack a half smile to prove it. Now that she's discovered the wonder of self-love, there's really nothing stopping her quest to meet the warlock lover of her dreams! Maybe ALT will officiate.

Back in the limo, Liz says that Ann is full of it -- she acts all goofy and quirky, but then kills a gaggle of bitches with her ferocity once she gets on set. Ann gives a goofy laugh. Meanwhile, Chelsey tells us that she has been pursuing her modeling career for a really long time. Being on this show is not only the biggest chance she's ever gotten, but probably the last one. She's trying to make the most of it. That way when she's earning a living as a social worker two years from now she'll have no regrets.

Back at the house there is Tyra Mail. It simply says "Ding Dong." Oh no, Tyra is dead? Will ALT take over? Does Janice have an alibi? So many questions! Oh, but wait. There's a package at the door. Or, rather, the top of the stairs. It gives instructions for splitting the girls into groups, and gives each group a "Cover Girl Kit." Jane reads the instructions: "To be the face of Cover Girl, you must first face your public. Work together with your assigned group to familiarize yourself with these Smoky Eye Look Kits and Lasting Color and High Shine Lip Duo Packs. Tomorrow you and your groups will be the face of these products. How will you outshine the competition and capture the public's attention? Better get to work. Good luck." I'm going to save you all a kit's worth of money and tell you that to get a smoky eye you need eyeliner and a finger. And you really don't need to purchase the finger.

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America's Next Top Model

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