America's Next Top Model

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Rodeo Girls

Back at the house, there is Tyra Mail! "Tomorrow will be no walk of shame, but rather a walk of fame. Love, Tyra." Kacey thinks they'll be on Hollywood Boulevard, and Chelsey wonders if they'll be dressed as famous people. Ann says that she takes great photos, but she's so awkward and weird in person. She's trying to deal with this gradually, but is having to rush through it because of the competition. Basically, Ann says, her homework is improving her personality. A little bit different than the looking at magazines that Tyra usually assigns.

The girls head out in their party bus and head to Beverly Hills, winding up on Rodeo Drive. Kendal pronounces it like you would a cowboy rodeo, because her bumpkin character is charming. She says she's in hog-tying heaven. Her actual words are, "Oh my gosh. I watch TV about rodeo drive. That's where the celebrities be when they go shopping. Nice cars. The stores even look expensive." Even the stores -- imagine! This is quite an upgrade from the Walmart parking lot, though. Jay meets the girls and tells them that they're going to experience one of the most prestigious photo shoots in Top Model history. To get them ready, they'll be working with highly sought-after stylist Lori Goldstein. And then they'll be shot by Patrick Demarchelier, who is super famous. Jay tells the girls that this is a big, big deal. Patrick comes out and tells the girls that the more they relax, the better they'll do. At least I think that's what he says. Patrick Demarchelier is very French, and very masculine in an artsy old guy kind of way.

Jay explains that the girls will be doing group shots in motion. This means that they'll be paired with one other girl and a male model. Everyone heads to hair and makeup. Chelsey tells us that she has goals, and then she has fantasyland goals that will probably never happen. She can now check Patrick Demarchelier off of both lists. Make-up artist Molly Stern works on Jane, as Lori Goldstein styles Liz to look like an amalgam of herself and Samantha Ronson. Lori calls Liz's look "masculine-feminine chicness." Patrick thinks she looks cool. Lori also loves the Halston Heritage ensemble in which she's dressed Kendal. Lori tells us that what she loves about high fashion is that it excites her so much. That's like saying I love cookies because I think cookies are awesome. Which I suppose you can't really argue with. Lori wants us to have fun and mix patterns and be not afraid to do things we wouldn't normally do. Go in your closets and have a blast, ladies! Except do not emulate the looks that Lori is putting together today, because 75% of them are absolutely hideous. I think famous stylists really just like to fuck with us.

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America's Next Top Model

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