The girls go meet Jay in his trailer, amidst a weird product placement for trailers. You want a trailer with a flat-screen TV? Try Verde trailers. WTF? Jay tells the girls that they're only technically shooting five shots, since all the girls but one will be paired. Chris will be on her own with a male model. She seems quite excited about this. Liz and Kendal will be paired, as will Kayla and Esther. Jane and Kacey will be paired, which leaves Chelsey to pose with Ann. Chelsey is not thrilled about this, since Ann has been totally dominating the competition thus far. She feels like she'll have to work a lot harder to stand out against Ann. As Chelsey reminds us that she's an ancient, weathered hag who can't afford to screw up at all, we head to commercials.
When we return, Jay tells the girls that the key to success on this shoot is to "listen to his thing and just go with it." Jay's helpful hints get more specific with each episode. And just when we thought things couldn't get better, Tyra pops up! She's dressed like Fozzie Bear dressed as a reporter. Masculine-feminine chic! She says some words in French to Patrick Demarchelier, and then just hangs about to make the girls nervous slash give direction. Kacey and Jane are up first, and since they have a male model other than Shaw, Kacey doesn't have to worry about her hormones distracting her. Patrick tells Kacey to relax and not try too much. Kacey thinks that Jane is her biggest competition, because she's so beautiful and has so much potential. Jane hasn't done a whole lot so far this season, so I wouldn't be too worried about her. Speaking of Jane, she's dressed like Pocahontas for this shoot. After the girls stroll in a relaxed fashion with their male escort, they each have to do an individual shoot that entails walking and/or leaping. This is how the magic's made, folks. As Kacey walks Patrick yells, "Euuuuh! Wake up, bebe! Wake up! Euuuuuuuh!" That can't be good. Patrick asks Tyra to show 'em how it's done. Tyra leaps in a stupid fashion that probably looks awesome on camera, and the crowd cheers. Patrick likes Jane and thinks she has an interesting look, but says that she's more on the commercial side. Patrick then declares that Tyra will be this season's winner. Per usual. Tyra points at her own photo and says, "I hear she's the bitch in the house."
Patrick and Tyra reminisce about the good old days, when he shot her. He thinks she was 16, but Tyra says that she was 18, which she knows because she only started living in France when she was 17. Though I do prize my healthy relationship with food, I must say that being a 17-year-old supermodel sounds pretty fun. Being able to retire at 22 sounds even better. Chelsey and Ann are next, and Chelsey tells us that being paired with Ann was intimidating since she doesn't have to do anything at all to be fabulous. For her part, Ann is a bit overwhelmed by the chaos of Rodeo Drive and the spectacle of the shoot. Amidst this chaos, however, Lori Goldstein has managed to find acid-washed skinny jeans that fit Ann. I guess she really is a genius, if an evil one. Jay tells us that Ann was nervous and stiff on set. Tyra notices it too, and tries to teach Ann how to get wind in her hair and bend her knees less. Ann tries to skip, and it is possibly the most horrible thing I've ever seen. And I've stayed at the Hotel Carter. Jay tells us that he had high hopes for Chelsey, who was thrilled when she found out that they were shooting with Patrick Demarchelier. However, her performance is disappointing, and Patrick has to demonstrate how to skip fashionably. Tyra tries to teach her how to turn to the photographer while she's being skippy. Chelsey admits that she was nervous, and is frustrated to have biffed the biggest day of her life.