America's Next Top Model

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Previously on America's Next Top Model: The bags walked down the runway with bags, all for the love of designer Jill Stuart. Then they posed in duos and trios all around New York, and in some cases on a bus. Nijah couldn't overcome her dead eyes and she was eliminated. Ten bitches remain!

It is night in the Top Model house, and the girls return home following elimination. Sandra sees her best-of-the-week photo displayed as digital art (minus Celia, who is unceremoniously cropped out in a bit of foreshadowing, indicating what Tyra is going to want to do to her actual self in T-56 minutes) and notes that she looks hot. She confessionalizes that she finally redeemed herself with that bomb-ass picture. And yet, the rest of the girls in the house still want to bomb her ass. It's faux-demption, really. Sandra adds that having the best picture shows that she's better than all the other girls. She's sure that they're feeling the same thing. Indeed, I have an inferiority complex just from hitting the pause on my DVR as Sandra is on screen. In actuality, of course, Aminat, Tahlia and Fo confirm with each other that 1) Sandra's photo wasn't even the best of the week; 2) it would be awesome if she went home. Speaking of Tahlia, the judges finally said some nice stuff to her at the last panel, and it's boosted her confidence. She's still homesick, she interviews, but she does want to be in the competition because she knows she can do this. This of course means that Tahlia has gone from no confidence to false confidence, because, as lovely a girl as she might be, she is for sure no kind of model.

The girls are hanging around the house aimlessly when, unexpectedly, the doorbell rings. It's a special guest! And how! It's Toccara from Cycle 3! We flash back to Toccara's interview before the panel at auditions, and she snaps and says she's big, black, beautiful, and lovin' it. Just like a double quarter-pounder! Do you remember how Toccara kept a rotisserie chicken by her bed, just in case she woke up and wanted a midnight snack? She is truly the best. Natalie interviews that Toccara really went far, and is every girl's inspiration. She's my inspiration for losing her shit all over those Celebrity Fit Club assholes, for sure.

Anyway, Toccara screams that she is fabulous, spelled F-A-B-O. ZOMG, she's illiterate like Fantasia! Someone call Lifetime! Anyway, Toccara has decided that she and the girls are going to have a slumber party, which is great cause for celebration. She has been kind enough to bring them PJs from her favorite designer, Mira Kelis. Celia tells us that this was a very sweet gesture, because she has never heard of product placement. Once everyone's in their PJs, Toccara tells the girls that Tyra sent her over to talk about personality, which she has in abundance. Toccara explains that, in the modeling/entertainment business, you must have both great personality and confidence. She then tells the girls to be themselves, which runs counter to the advice she just gave them about having personality. Sigh. Toccara adds that if you have something to say, you should speak up. Now she's getting into some dicey territory, and I wish that Top Model's legendary Foreshadowing of Doom could give us a thunderclap or something for emphasis.

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America's Next Top Model

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