America's Next Top Model

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What Are You, an Immigrant?

We have ten ladies, nine photos, and a foreboding sense of doom. Tahlia is called first, and her photo is hailed as the best of the week. Cut to Celia, biting her thin lips. Teyona is called next, followed by Allison, Natalie, London, Aminat, Celia and Fo. This leaves Kortnie and Sandra in the bottom two. Allison looks terrified, perhaps because she knows that some dastardly shit is about to go down. Tyra tells Kortnie that the judges see a beautiful woman with great alertness, but she's dead and dull in her pictures. Sandra is pretty, but the judges are disappointed because she's resting on what the Lord and her mama and daddy gave her. She was also disappointing in the pose-off. But, in the end, it's Sandra who gets the photo and Kortnie who gets the boot. Celia gets a crazy look in her eye. THAT LOOK MAKES ME NERVOUS!

And for good reason. Celia steps out of line and stands beside Kortnie. She then addresses Tyra like she's finally met the fucking wizard. It's all bald guys behind the curtain. Trust. Celia rats that, before Tyra sends Kortnie home, she should know that Tahlia expressed that she didn't want to be in the competition anymore, and didn't feel like it was a wise career move on her part. Celia says that it's quite unfair for someone who doesn't even want to be there to remain in the competition. Tyra doesn't waste a beat before retorting (and I quoth), "You know what I think is unfair? That you're saying this and not Tahlia. Tahlia did not say that to me. She did not say that to the judges. So what is truly unfair is you saying that to me. So the judges have made their decision. Take your place, Celia." Celia sulks off, weave between her legs, having just endured the verbal version of Tyra punching her in the throat. Tyra has the memory of whatever animal it is that has a really great memory, and she will cut you IN THE FUTURE. Bad times.

Kortnie bids the others adieu, and exit interviews that she's sad to go. She feels like she had potential but didn't catch on as fast as the other girls. She loves the other girls, she says, and adds that Tahlia had previously said that she didn't want to be there and the competition was a joke. Which it is. I mean, it's kind of hard to choose sides. Except that Tahlia is annoying. But so is everyone else. Ah, I'm right back where I started from. Celia didn't have to do what she did, says Kortnie, but she applauds her for standing up for what she believes in. However, Kortnie says, in all fairness, Tahlia didn't get a chance to speak up for herself. She hopes the house doesn't implode, but really doesn't care, because it's The Former Future Mrs. Earnhardt, Jr. out.

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America's Next Top Model

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