America's Next Top Model

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What Are You, an Immigrant?

Meanwhile, McKey is SO DULL. And wearing mascara is now called "accessorizing your lashes."

When we return, there is Tyra Mail: "Models aren't the only ones that migrate to New York to make their dreams come true. Love, Tyra." The girls wonder if they will be birds. I have to say, nothing makes me happier than the thought of Sandra in a giant chicken costume. The ladies head out very early with no idea of what's coming. They go straight into hair and makeup and still have no clue what they'll be doing. As Tahlia gets her hair done, she tells Celia that she did horribly in the posing competition and that she's frustrated and practically fed up with the whole thing. She says she knows that she signed up for this experience, but at this point she's asking herself if it was the right thing to do. Celia scowls so hard that her caveman brow practically touches her lower lip. Like, homey, Celia don't play that. She interviews that Tahlia is breaking down slowly and doesn't think this competition is the way to go for modeling. And I mean, point for Tahlia. But still. In that case, Celia thinks, Tahlia should get the heck out and let the desperate ones who have endometriosis but no chance at modeling in the real world battle it out among themselves.

Makeup and hair complete, the girls hit a Statue Cruises boat, where Jay awaits. He's Dorian the Historian today, and tells them that between 1892 and 1954 over 12 million immigrants entered the United States. They saw the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, and then were shoved off to marvel at the gold with which the streets were paved. He asks the girls if they've seen photos of the immigrants as they entered the country. You know, the old black-and-white or sepia-toned ones, where everyone looks very grim and hungry and as if they've left their homelands for the promise of decent dental care. Jay says that, for today's shoot, the girls are going back in time and will, in fact, be shot with an old-fashioned 8 x 10 camera and film. This means that the girls are going to have to stand very, very still, but also give a dynamic fashion image. Benny Ninja is going to be in the shot, too, as each girl's husband and father to a gaggle of children. Heterosexual immigrant realness!

Sandra is first to shoot, and is wrapped in some serious fur. She's the type of immigrant who skinned baby squirrels for warmth, which is pretty in line with her modern day persona. Jay introduces her to Brian Edwards, the photographer for the day, who also did last season's natural disaster shoot. Jay reminds Sandra that she'll have to hold very still for the camera to capture the image. He adds that they're using the past for inspiration, but will have to put a modern spin on it. Benny, whose head is dwarfed by an Elmer Fudd hat, concurs. The children in the photo look like they immigrated from the Pitt-Jolie compound. As everyone is generally a bit downtrodden, Jay tells them again to remember to put a modern spin on things, since they literally look like immigrants. And, to be frank, immigrants just aren't very fierce. Jay adds, "And I have a feeling Benny's gonna give it to me in the back." Sometimes they just write themselves, folks. Sandra starts off a little boring, and so she tries to be less stiff. However, her performance is disappointing and Jay says she's totally disappeared off the radar. He hopes she can find a way to get it together.

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America's Next Top Model




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