America's Next Top Model

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Magic Ann
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Cycle 15, as you may have heard, was all about high-fashion. Fourteen unique beauties arrived in Los Angeles, ready to compete for the career-making opportunity of a lifetime. Italian Vogue and a contract with IMG were at stake. The girls had to endure a litany of humiliations, including treadmill runways, a commercial shoot on roller skates, and screaming at Mexican wrestlers. They also had the opportunity to shoot with big-shot photographers Patrick Demarchelier and Matthew Rolston, and walk for designers Missoni and Zac Posen. In last week's double elimination, Kayla and Jane got the boot. This left two lovely ladies in the running to be America's Next Top Model. Will our victor be Chelsey, the girl who came into the competition with the most experience? Her hard work and determination began to pay off as she won multiple challenges. But can Chelsey prove to the judges that she's their high fashion winner? Or will it be Ann, the self-proclaimed nerd who was awkward everywhere -- and we mean everywhere -- except in front of the camera? Ann has a notable high-fashion look, but can she come to life for Cover Girl and not be a total disaster on the runway? We shall soon find out!

Milan! Chelsey and Ann ride in their bus, and Chelsey requests a high-five to celebrate their status as the top two. Ann leaves her hanging for a second before cracking up and slapping some skin. Chelsey squeaks like a mouse, which actually makes her look more rodentine. She confessionalizes that she's wanted to be a supermodel since she was three years old. Unwisely, she reminds us that that means it's been her goal for twenty years, which forces us to reflect on the fact that her supermodel half-life is well over. Chelsey's very confident, feeling like she's stepped it up and done very well the past few weeks. Ann mentions that she really wants to call her mom and dad, and then tells us that she's so proud of herself. She's been working her butt off to try to correct her flaws. This is the biggest thing that Ann's ever done in her life, much bigger than high school graduation or growing three feet in the fourth grade.

Ann and Chelsey split a pizza and further ruminate on their top two status. Chelsey mentions that ever since she's started modeling, there's been more criticism than positive feedback. Well, that should tell you something. She confessionalizes that she's worked so hard, and taken so much shit over the years - she's too pale, too freckly, too gap-toothed. Only Tyra would say, "You're not gap-toothed enough." Chelsey says that the people who have put her down are going to regret it, because she's about to do amazing things with her career. This is the first but not only "Suck it, haters," speech of the episode. Ann notes that shooting for Italian Vogue is going to be so fricking cool. She realizes that she says "cool" a lot, but then tells us that she really means it. Ann says that she never thought she'd make it this far when she sent in her audition tape. At first when she grew taller and taller she thought it was fun, but then when she hit her teen years and assholes started making fun of her it wasn't such good times. She got really self-conscious about everything. Being on America's Next Top Model and having her uniqueness be her advantage is a great thing. It really is pretty awesome to see Ann blossom over the course of the season. Awesome Blossom! I bet Ann has three of those for lunch every day with a fried Oreo chaser.

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America's Next Top Model

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