Next, the girls got a visit from tiny brand strategist Martin Lindstrom. He is to blame for much of what we have endured this season, as well as much of what we have endured from Tyra historically. Each girl got a brand word, and beat it to death for the weeks ahead. Bianca got "candid," and became emboldened. And to what purpose did she put her renewed candor? Yes, arguing with Camille about phone privileges. Bianca is so candid that she doesn't mind barging in on a person when said person has only been on the phone for eight minutes. Too bad, says candid Bianca. Your time is up! Bre finally has to tell Bianca to get the fuck away from the phone room door, I guess before she gets so candid that the glass spontaneously shatters. A house meeting was called, which Lisa kicked off with an enthusiastic, "Hear ye! Hear ye!" You know, something has happened over the course of this season where I actually just kind of like Lisa. I know I give her a hard time, but at the bottom of it she's just a girl trying to hustle. She also seems pretty smart. Maybe the holiday season has erased all of my vitriol, like the Grinch. I be like whoa at how my heart has grown three sizes.

Anyway, Camille very seriously says that she's disappointed in Bianca's behavior where the phone was concerned. She thought it was tacky and also felt very disrespected. And Camille doesn't take disrespect well. Except that she kind of does. Someone mailed her a box of bills and she didn't even rage about it. Bianca says that she and Camille will never be friends and that's okay, and Camille again tells her that disrespect is tacky. That must be where it ended, because no one gets slapped or anything fun like that.

Next, the girls got a surprise visit from Ashlee Simpson. I forgot that even happened! This was the kickoff to the Ty-overs. Alexandria wept from happiness, while both Lisa and Bre were not so excited about their new short locks. Bre even locked herself in the bathroom and got to "at rage." "At rage" was totally going to be my new catchphrase until I forgot about it! What I didn't forget about was the Pink's hot dog shoot. If you were eager to relive semi-hot girls with relish all over their necks, your moment has come! Both Bianca and Lisa rocked the shoot, while Sheena simply looked like she had to pee. And Kayla struggled with how to make a hot dog gay and free. But Sheena got the boot, despite the fact that she turned Lisa gay.