America's Next Top Model

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Sticks in the Mud

After a commercial break, we return to Alexandria and the creepy dude. She agrees to give him a kiss on the cheek, and tells him that her boyfriend taught her how to hit in order to discourage any funny business. The kiss on the cheek happens, and Brittani and Molly look like they simultaneously want to die and crack up. Creepy guy asks for Alexandria's number, which she does not give. Good to know that she too has some boundaries.

Miss J. gathers the girls together to give their evaluation. Alexandria was really sweet, but should not have kissed creepy guy on the cheek. This only encourages someone to stalk you. He did seem the type. Alexandria prissily asks what happens when someone else tells a creepy guy that you'll kiss him. Miss J. says, "She called you out, and you did what she said you would do. So." Well that will shut a bitch up. Jaclyn was the girl next door with a lot of squeaky personality. Kasia talked a lot with her fans while keeping it "model." Monique stood around looking bored to death, and like crickets were chirping in her head. I'm guessing that the latter is her general state of being, though. Kasia is the winner, and chooses Jaclyn and Brittani to go to dinner with her and Miss J. Kasia says that it's an honor to sit down in such an intimate setting with someone who is so influential in the fashion industry. Someone else is coming to dinner, too? How exciting.

Miss J. tells the loser girls get to clean up the fan mess. Monique is quite pissy, and doesn't understand how Kasia won the challenge. Being right next to Monique probably upped her status quite a bit. The other girls gamely get to work, but Monique snots around and complains about what a fucking joke it is. They have to clean up, like, a 6' x 6' area. It is seriously not a big deal. Monique swears and throws paper towels on the ground and says she's sick of her life. She confessionalizes that she hopes everyone has a really shitty time at dinner and gets food poisoning, and then assures us that she's being very serious. It's a good thing she doesn't have voodoo powers.

Brittani, Kasia, and Jaclyn head to Rock Sugar restaurant where they share a private VIP area with Miss J. Jaclyn feels like she's a celebrity. Meanwhile, the other girls have cheese sandwiches on white bread awaiting them. Molly helps herself to an extra serving of sour grapes, and tells us that going to dinner with boring people is a sarcastically really fun prize. Additionally, Miss J. is going to have a sarcastically amazing time, which is also sarcastically so exciting. The bitch pool runs deep this season. Back at the restaurant, Miss J. tells the winning girls that in the fashion industry, people like working with nice people. However, you need to be strong and firm, because people can be cruel. They can call you ugly, and call you fat, and say that you eat ribs for every meal. Miss J. has been called every name in the book, and says that sticks and stones may break his bones but all those ugly words made him wealthy. He seems like he's rehearsed that one for a while. Brittani says that Miss J. is down to earth and personable, and it was a perfect evening. If I had to choose one person on this show to go to dinner with, it would probably be...well, actually it would probably be ALT. He is the rich man's Miss J., after all. Sorry, buddy.

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America's Next Top Model




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