America's Next Top Model

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Potes: B+ | 1672 USERS: B-
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London Bridge Is Fattening Up

Back at the house there is Tyra Mail. Someone is going to be evicted. Teyona, Fo and Aminat talk about the photo shoot. Both Fo and Teyona think they did pretty well. Aminat asks for their honest opinion on her shoot, and Fo says that she was scared because Aminat looked like a deer in headlights. Aminat's feeling pretty bad. The white girls, meanwhile, talk about their various performances and London is forced to confess the conversation whereby Jay said, "Blah, blah, blah, you're fat." God put London here for a reason, she tells us, even though she doesn't know exactly what that reason is. Sometimes, God is on vacation or maybe taking half a sick day or possibly in Darfur at the moment. London says that God is testing her, and that this is one of the hardest experiences of her entire life. Cry me a river of melted butter. Commercials.

When we return we have the continuing Tale of the Supermodel Who Wanted to Guide Future Girls. You know what she did. Say it with me now. She broke out the rules to owning your inner fierceness. "Music always helps a model find her own rhythm." Seriously, didn't that happen, like, four episodes ago? How about, "Once you go chunk you get sent back to Podunk." Lord. And Lord again! What the eff is London wearing? She looks like Gloria Swanson as portrayed by a chubby homeless street urchin. All wrong. Tyra notes that there are seven girls left, and that seven is a lucky number... for six of them. Okay, that was unnecessary. There are prizes, there are judges. Mike Ruiz is the guest judge.

Before Tyra can get started, a scantily clad gentleman carrying a big bowl of nuts approaches Tyra. He says something in another language, which Tyra -- a multilinguist in addition to an entrepreneur -- interprets as him asking her to go to his country. The only problem is that she doesn't know which country he's from. Perhaps the bowl of nuts contains a clue. Tyra takes a nibble and asks if it's a pecan. She takes another nibble and says it's a big-ass peanut. And then it finally dawns on her retarded brain that it is exactly what the script that she wrote says it is -- a Brazil nut. Because the girls are going to Brazil! Confetti floats down from the ceiling and Miss J. does a dance with a big garland of fruit on his head (subtle!) and Nigel shakes maracas and Paulina waves a flag and the girls scream and carry on before being reminded that one of them is getting dumped stateside.

America's Next Top Model

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