America's Next Top Model

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London Bridge Is Fattening Up
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on America's Next Top Model: The Cover Girl commercial brought out the worst in all the contestants and Tahlia finally and blessedly got the boot, eliminating one of the many ways Tyra insists on torturing us. Seven bitches remain! (But there are practically eight since one is so huuuuuuuge!)

It is night at the Top Model house. Celia and Allison sit on the stairs with their feet dangling and Allison says, "I have a problem, I think." Maybe she will finally be sent to Almost-Kinda Celebrity Rehab for her addiction to painting nose bleeds on bad sketches? Nay, in fact Allison actually doesn't understand how she can look exactly the same in every photo. We flash back to last week's panel, where Tyra told Allison that she's not very versatile. Allison, with her weave looking like it came hot off the rack of the 99 cent store and is well on its way to a murder spree, says that it's difficult for her to distort her face and make it look different, because she has very distinct features. And seriously, if her photos are great week after week what's the problem? Celia tells Allison that since her face and eyes are already so expressive, all she has to do is move her muscles. In contrast, Celia literally has to think of sex to get a good picture. When she gets a good shot you know she's flashing back to wild times in the nursing home kitchen. Meanwhile, Aminat and Teyona agree that last panel was a little "nervousy" for everybody, because all the girls sucked. Aminat says she has to step up her game, which is the mantra of the girl who's going to be in the bottom two at the end of the episode. Aminat confessionalizes that she can say "choose," so suck it, Miss J.

There is Tyra Mail! "A top model knows how to be direct. Love, Tyra." Teyona is crossing her fingers, toes and butt cheeks that they'll be leaving to go abroad. Oh. Like a direct flight. First of all, if she thinks the budget-friendly CW is sending them to Europe or South American or the North Pole -- fashion capital of the Antarctic (furry hoods are in this season!) -- she should know that at least one connection will be involved. And second, if it doesn't involve the words "pack your bags, y'all" or mariachi dancers, it is not yet time. Meanwhile, Celia asks London about her street preaching, and how it works, exactly. Oh, finally. I do hope London gets to go to the abroad destination just so she can use her conversion methods on some Parisian savages! London explains that when she approaches someone, she feels that the holy spirit is in her, and that Jesus is speaking through her in her own words. She interviews that she's tried to maintain her relationship with Jesus while in the house. Sometimes long-distance relationships are difficult to maintain while modeling, as we've seen in the past, but London knows that Jesus is the reason that she's there and is trying not to doubt him. Sometimes coming face to face with Ann Shoket makes you wonder about His plan.

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America's Next Top Model

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