America's Next Top Model

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Model Through the Mishap!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: The girls shrimpiness was exaggerated as they marched down the runway next to some real live glamazons. In their photo shoot, they were challenged to stretch themselves as much as possible without actually taking a turn in the taffy puller. 5'7" Lulu was one of the tallest girls in the competition, but couldn't work those extra inches. She was sent home. Ten bitches remain!

The girls return home after last week's photo shoot and find Kara's best-of-week photo displayed digitally in the house. She points out that her boob is about to bust out of her dress, which proves that good things come in small packages. Kara's excited that the photo will be there every day to remind her how awesome she is, at least until someone else's photo is displayed to remind her how terrible she is. A few girls sit down to eat, and Brittany is asked if it's terrifying to be in the bottom two. She says that it's absolutely not fun. Erin confessionalizes that Brittany has won a million challenges, and adds a bitchy, "Look how the mighty have fallen." She says that Brittany now knows where she stands. I'd say she stands in the position of someone who's been consistently awesome but had a bad week, and will soon likely be awesome again. Erin's eyebrow bleach clearly seeped into her brain at some point, which was probably an improvement.

Ashley, meanwhile, misses her only friend, Lulu. Now she has no one to parrot her catty comments about the others, so will probably shut up. Ashley tells us that she's had absolutely no modeling experience, but can't allow herself to just give up. In fact, she intends to win. A radical intention, I know. Ebony, meanwhile, has triumphed by not being in the bottom two! Way to set a low standard and manageable goals. In a similar vein, I sometimes put "get out of bed" on my to-do list, just to feel a sense of accomplishment when I wake up at noon. Ebony finally succeeded in having a softer face, thanks to the power of Jesus. She says that she's learning and has showed progress, and wants to stick around and show that she can get even better, and/or that this was just a lucky fluke.

Tyra Mail! "Sometimes you only have a minute to make a second impression." The girls don't even have time to blindly conjecture, as we cut immediately to them heading off the next day to meet with Sam Fine, makeup artist to such celebrities as Iman and Tyra herself. Bianca is a fan. Sam tells the girls that he can't stress enough the importance of knowing how to do your own makeup. If they get a casting call -- which, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA -- they'll have to know how to put their best face forward, and quick. One of Tyra's favorite looks, you might recall from seasons past, is a smoky eye. This leads to the high-fashion smoky smize that designers covet. Sam uses Laura as a guinea pig, and puts some loose powder under her eye and concealer on her eyelid, and smudges on some brown shadow. Voila, smoky eye! She looks like she's been punched in the face by a cow testicle, but is undeterred, saying, "All girls need to know basics to makeup and ev'rythang. It was really enjoyment." "It was really enjoyment" is totally my new catchphrase when anything makes me happy. "Did you see on the news that Super Smize got run over by a Mack truck?" "It was really enjoyment!"

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America's Next Top Model

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