America's Next Top Model

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Potes: A- | 753 USERS: B-
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Fruits of Laboriousness

The girls get in line and learn a few basic positions. They are so instantly terrible that Eddy has to say a small prayer to the heavens. He tells them that he creates his drama about capoeira, and they need to create their drama, but model. Celia tells us that these moves can, in fact, help your posture and how you hold yourself if nothing else. She thinks it's fascinating. You know who's not fascinated? Natalie. Aminat tells us plainly that Natalie sucked at capoeira, and couldn't even rock back and forth. She does seem particularly uncoordinated. But man does she have long legs. I'll call it a toss-up again until she says something annoying. Maestre Eddy then tries to teach the girls how to do little cartwheels. There is a reason that six-feet tall skinny girls generally aren't gymnasts. Celia and Aminat engage in a capoeira fight. Teyona thinks this is funny since the two have had altercations in the past. As they end Celia poses and then throws in a bonus kick, which lands right on Teyona's face! The camera sadly was at the wrong angle to actually catch the foot-on-face contact, but a particularly bouncy punching sound effect is thrown in for good measure. Aminat comes up and says that Celia kicked her dead in the eye. Celia interviews that it was an accident but, "Tee hee." That foot in the face was, in retrospect, for calling her disgusting. Aminat seems to take it all in stride, and interviews that she'll allow one accidental kick to the face, but the second time she'll break a bitch's legs.

Eddy tells the girls to go put on their uniforms, which consist of sports bras and flowing pants. He picks out Aminat and Celia to go head-to-head. Aminat says she's ready to bring it, and to break Celia's legs if need be. Before they can get too far into it, the Jays show up! They tell the girls that they won't simply be fighting each other today. They'll have to use the fabulous moves they've learned in a photo challenge. Teyona smiles her devil's denture smile, which makes me want to kick myself in the face. The photographer for the challenge is Paschoal Rodriguez, and he looks vaguely humiliated to be there, or perhaps chagrined that his bedazzled blue t-shirt pales in comparison to Jay's hot pink and orange monstrosity. Jay confirms that there will be a winner of this challenge, and that winner will get 50% more photo frames at their next shoot. But bonus! The winner will have to take the frames from another girl of her choice! That is dastardly and awesome. Natalie thinks so, too, because the concept of screwing over another girl is sweet.

America's Next Top Model

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