Top Model update! Eva is not a lesbian! And she has a role on The Young and the Restless! Where she does not play a model! Because she's too short! Her character's name is Tyra, which makes me feel funny inside.
The judges deliberate. Natalie hasn't pushed the envelope at all, and her photo is neither editorial nor an apt tribute to Carmen Miranda nor special in any way, according to Nigel. Fernanda says that there is a lot of energy and happiness in favelas, which Natalie does not express. That's because she's thinking, "Poor people, ewwwwwww!" Miss J. and Paulina both find her boring. Allison, however, has turned things up a notch. Nigel thinks her photo is the epitome of what this shoot was about. Paulina says that she's gone through various phases with regard to Allison. At first she wondered, "Who dragged that in?" Tyra did. And then Paulina had to admit that whoever dragged "it" in got it right, because Allison has a real look. Miss J. likes Fo's photo, which is Carmen Miranda meets Betty Grable. The one element that's missing, according to Tyra, is a model. Paulina agrees that Fo tends to give less fashion and more personality, which makes her more like an actress. Nigel is not fond of the photo. Aminat has everything you could ask for in a model, but inexplicably sucks. Tyra says that she looks like a model, but isn't modeling -- she's the noun, not the verb. Paulina thinks Aminat is a one-trick pony. And then there's Celia. Paulina plainly says that Celia is not very photogenic. Tyra says, in somewhat nicer terms, that she looks like an old bag -- in fact, she looks like an older bag than she actually is. She is not fresh, and will soon be attracting fruit flies. Nigel likes Teyona's photo, and thinks it's the most fashionable shot of all of them. Tyra says that Teyona has model features, which is so important and different than being pretty. This is, of course, Tyra's message to the world. Miss J. seems to think that Teyona's name rhymes with "Daytona," because he is an idiot. With that, the judges have reached a decision.
Six beautiful ladies stand before Tyra, but she only has five photos in her hands. Tyra calls the girl with the best photo first -- it's Allison! Oh, good for her. Teyona is called next, followed by Fo and Celia. This leaves Natalie and Aminat as the bottom two. Natalie is one of the prettiest girls in the bunch, and the judges look at her and think she's an obvious model. But what they see from week to week in her photos is obvious posing, and the judges have no truck with the uninspiring. The judges look at Aminat and think she has the best body in the competition, but she thinks she's doing more than she portrays. In her head she's a great model, in actuality she sucks. So who stays in the competition? It's Aminat! Holy crow. Natalie is annoying as all get-out, but Aminat is a pretty terrible model. Tyra gives Natalie a hug, and Natalie looks pissed. Tyra tells her that modeling is not about being pretty and taking pretty pictures. If it was, Natalie would be a supermodel. As it is, she's just plain-old-annoying Natalie. Tyra says that she hopes that what Natalie learned from the judges and Jay will teach her what she needs to get to the next level of her career, which hopefully will not entail bullshit televised modeling competitions. Natalie hugs the other girls, thanks the judges, and walks out.