We begin our episode with a little context: most of the girls think that Analeigh is not competition, Lauren Brie has no personality, and Elina’s control issues come from her Russian mother. Once this is summed up for us, it’s time for a teach-slash-challenge with Tyra! She hand-delivers the Tyra Mail, and is going to teach the girls all about signature poses. Everyone gets 20 shots -- they take ten, then get a critique from Tyra, then do another ten. Each girl has a Tyra-influenced signature aspect of her posing, which all starts rather innocuously with McKey’s signature neck and Sam’s signature hand usage. Before we know it, however, Sheena is a vaguely ethnic dancer and Elina is the top model of the world. But it’s Marjorie’s self-generated "Hunchback of Notre Dame" signature that most impresses Tyra, and she wins some major bling.
The photo shoot for the week features embarrassing moments at the Fiercee Awards. Yes, awards season is really in full swing now! Sam is a mixed bag as a starlet who can’t read her cue cards, Lauren Brie is mannequin-esque as she trips and falls en route to accepting an award, McKey believes she’s going to win but loses and looks pretty good all the while, Analeigh lets out her fiercely bitchy side as an interviewer with attitude, and Joslyn has to prettily deal with another starlet wearing the same gown. Elina is forced into a photo shoot-slash-therapy session when her role as an award-winner who can’t stop crying requires real tears. She learns to let go a little, and maybe will try some bacon or something now. And Marjorie, of course, is the Hunchback of Notre Dame in a turban who has to pee but can’t get out of her gown. How could she not have the best photo of the week? Boring Lauren Brie and mediocre Sheena wind up in the bottom two. In the end, the cheese stands alone as Sheena is granted a photo and Lauren Brie heads home.
Previously on ANTM: Okay, this is hilarious. Tyra voices over, "Marjorie's lack of confidence hurt her in the challenge," despite the fact that Paulina totally made a big point out of the fact that Marjorie is not confidence-impaired, but rather European. Something tells me the rotating supermodel guest seat on the panel will have a new skinny ass in it next season. Clark finally got the boot in a 60's mod giant natural disaster themed shoot. Yeah, you heard me right. Eight bitches remain!
We enter the Top Model kitchen, where Sam makes pancakes and McKey makes salad. Sam mentions that her dad is super strict, and that children of parents who are super strict turn out frickin' crazy. Maybe this explains the hiking of the dress on the runway? Elina jumps in to say that her mom has controlled her her whole life, which is the genesis of all her control issues. She says that she wants to control everything because for such a long time she couldn't control anything. She's got her own mind. She wants to make her own decisions. When it has to do with her life, she wants to be the one in control. Elina interviews that her mom is very conservative and controlling and Russian. Elina moved to the U.S. from the Ukraine when she was 8. She wasn't allowed to express her emotions, because you just don't do that in Europe. Do we need to, like, send Oprah on some sort of European tour to get these emotionally dead people to get in touch with their feelings? Does Dr. Phil need to do group therapy with the whole continent? Elina says that her mom never let her do anything, and that during her whole life she's only ever had one friend. Okay, in all fairness that might not be her mom's fault entirely.
Lauren Brie, meanwhile, interviews with absolutely no expression that last week the judges told her to let her personality shine through. She's very confused, and is worried that she might go home. Sheena tells us that Lauren Brie is a very smart girl, but not a very exciting girl. Basically, Lauren Brie is doomed. We cut to the girls sunning themselves on the lawn, and get a close up of Elina's stomach tattoo which reads, "A voice for those who can't speak." Her oppressive Russian mother sure didn't stop her from getting all inked up, did she? Elina asks the others if they think Analeigh will be a successful international model. Lauren Brie doesn't think so. Elina doesn't either because, she says, Analeigh doesn't look like a model. Analeigh comes out and asks the others if they see her as competition. They pretend not to have heard her, and so Marjorie rephrases the question in a clearer manner. Analeigh tells Marjorie not to make them answer. She knows what's what, yo. Elina tells Analeigh that she's a very pretty girl, but doesn't look like a model. I guess she's giving a voice for those who can't speak other than behind peoples' backs. Analeigh sucks on a lollipop contemplatively. She confessionalizes that McKey and Elina have amazing faces, Marjorie is a natural model, and Lauren Brie can't take a bad picture. And then there's Maude. Analeigh is frustrated because she can't find her niche.