In any case, Christian's face is an example of what Tyra does not want to see. She tells the girls that they'll be photographed two ways: clean and "after," which means totally done up and glam and fierce and ferocious. Sam is relieved that she's not going to be nude, even if there is a chance that Tyra actually is going to kill her. Elina thinks it's great that Tyra will be photographing them, since she'll bring out the best in everybody. Or give them completely contradictory advice and confuse them into a breakdown. Marjorie, meanwhile, is completely frightened at the thought of being shot by Tyra Banks. Oh, me too, Marjorie. Sometimes I think I see her sneaking into my window at night. It's why I leave a bucket of ribs outside of my bedroom door before I go to sleep. Appease the Gods if you want to live to see the next morning, I always like to say. Tyra is going to shoot them in black and white, so she says it's all about the shapes and patterns of their outfits.
Tyra will shoot the "clean" photo first, in which the girls wear their own clothes. Sam is first. The sounds of the go-see designers saying "too commercial" ring in her ears, and she thinks to herself that she has to be perfect. Part of being "clean" apparently means being braless, which actually works to Sam's advantage. She's perky from head to toe, that one. Tyra takes a few frames, then tells Sam to think "Oliver Twist" and give her boy. Sam does and everyone seems pleased. Sam then heads upstairs to get the hair and makeup and full-on parachute pants. Tyra tells us that Samantha comes alive with makeup and theatrics. Jay agrees, saying that she's naturally theatrical and that's why she works well with all the "stuff" piled on. Sam rocks it so much that both Tyra and Jay go into a Miss J. eyeball-rolling scream. It's high praise.
Next it's Marjorie's turn. Tyra does a test shot in which she asks for pure Polaroid Marjorie, and tells Marjorie to make it usable. She does, as she gives a little hunchy pose. Marjorie then jumps around to try to get her nerves out. We cut to Jay, in an interview, asking Tyra if Marjorie inspires her. We cut back to Tyra telling Marjorie that they're going to go for "the normal ones" first. Then Tyra says to Jay, "Was I excited to shoot her? ...No." Jay thinks that it's the nerves stepping in, and adds that Marjorie was a little intimidated by Tyra. Marjorie is a little intimidated by a leaf blowing in the wind. Tyra tells Marjorie to just flow and stop thinking about what the next shot is going to be. When the clean shoot is finally done, Tyra gives Marjorie a pat on the head and then asks what's up with her hair, which feels like fur. Christian says that he would love to cut her hair super-short, and then he does! She looks like Annie Lennox circa the early Eurythmics days, and her heavy makeup and jailhouse romper for the second part of the shoot only add to the effect. She interviews that the competition is not known for being merciful, and you either deliver or you don't. So make like Mr. McFeely and be speedy, Eponine. Tyra shifts the lighting around for the second part of Marjorie's shoot, just to try to convince us that she's a real photographer and stuff. Marjorie does a little better in her glamorous shot, and Tyra tells us that she pulled off the makeup. There is no orgasmic Miss J. face, though, so I think Marjorie might be in a spot of trouble.