America's Next Top Model

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Shoot To Kill

Previously on ANTM: Amsterdam! The girls avoided the weed, but embraced the Red Light District where Sheena got to legitimately whore it up. A photo shoot on the high seas had some girls rocking, and the others feeling all washed up. Despite her general hilarity, Sheena ran out of chances to show her high fashion potential and was sent home. In other news, McKey entered panel looking like she got lost on the way to the Renaissance Faire. Five bitches remain!

It is a gray Amsterdam afternoon as the girls ride home in their van after panel. They celebrate their ascension to the top five. Analeigh tells us that she knows she's improving. However, she confessionalizes, she knows that the other girls don't see her as competition and think that she's just a pretty girl. She points out that at the end of the day it doesn't matter a hoot what those petty bitches think. It only matters what the petty bitches on the panel think. And at least one of them has to think that Analeigh has kind of a large nose, right?

In the van, Elina says in disbelief, "Apparently I was STIFF." Yeah, apparently. She wonders where they're getting this "stiff" thing from. Maybe from the fact that she resembles nothing so much than a little goblin carved on the end of an old-fashioned umbrella handle? Even allied nation Marjorie is getting a little tired of Elina. She says that Elina has been in the bottom two because she's not trying, and the judges want to see her push and do something different. Marjorie adds that she thinks Elina gives the same face week after week. Well then! What else does Marjorie think, you ask? She thinks that Elina thinks that she's got everything right, and that can be a little tiring. My how quickly Marjorie has turned on her fellow European friend. Maybe Elina put the moves on Marjorie's boyfriend Analeigh during the va-jay-jay shaving party?

Sam, meanwhile, feels amazing about being in the top five. She wants everyone to celebrate good times, come on. However, celebration doesn't come naturally to Marjorie, who is nervous per usual. The competition is getting to her, and she thinks that she's mediocre compared to the rest of the girls. Even compared to Sam? Come on, now, Frenchie. Marjorie doesn't understand how the rest of the girls can feel so comfortable after panel when there is clearly impending doom. Sam just shrugs her shoulder and drinks some more American Self-Confidence Juice.

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America's Next Top Model

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